how not to vote:

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Options.

I need your input.
Here are my current options:
1) Move into a dirty shoebox 2 bed/1 bath apartment a little further South than I'd like to be, but that has great closets and a huge bedroom with a teeny livingroom/dining/kitchen area and it's only $750, OR
2) Stay in the darling apartment I am in for another month, help out with rent for my friend who's letting me stay here while she's out of town for the next month and hope and pray that I find a job that will afford me another place to live and find an adequate roommate by the end of next month (this costs $850 plus $50 a month for storage), OR
3) Move temporarily into the cheap place, get settled and hold out for a good roommate and good job indefinitely.
There are a lot of people who will be moving next month (so I hear) and I did find quite a few nice, spacious apartments with double masters for $900 each...So far, most people have said to hold out for a great job to know what area I should live in, but I suspect that- even if the job is in Downtown, I will still want to live in Santa Monica/The West Side.
I don't know.
Help.
Where do I go from here?

Touch Me.

I understand that most people who send mass emails, holiday texts, and fwds are usually annoying with good intentions. Primarily, the intention is purely to make contact and remind you that you're on their mind. Second to that is the message itself. I do what I can to have patience with these methods, and I am appreciative of the message itself (if it's in regards to something relevant, like a friend's birthday party or upcoming event they want me to attend). E-Communication has become little more than mass-communication, but the intention is the same: it's making contact.

What baffles me is that e-communication rarely achieves the desired effect. Do you ever feel special when you get a mass text? Email? Posting on your Facebook/MySpace wall? Maybe a fleeting moment...but what happens on Friday night, when you're ready to go out? Or Sunday morning, when you're ready to talk about your weekend? Who is really there for you? What kind of difference does it make when one of your 400 MySpace friends actually picks up the phone to ask the simple question: "How are you?"

The reality is that a simple question in person has the power to pull you in from a distant e-friendship to a real, live relationship.

In a world full of mass activities with the chaos of strangers or near-friends, clubs with hundreds of sweaty bodies, too loud and crowded to hear a name, and nightly opportunities for dessert-parties, game nights, and FHEs, how much more does it mean when someone takes the time to reach out and spend five minutes- FIVE MINUTES- hearing your opinion on the latest film, or asking about your latest adventure.

And then, when we move into the realm of relationships, how much more meaningful has it become to be with someone who won't simply text you goodnight, but will actually make their way over to your house to give you a proper send-off to sleep (or maybe wear you out a little so sleep comes a bit better). Time after time I hear stories of confusion or complaint because someone texted someone and didn't hear back or the ball got dropped somewhere along the e-line and now...no one knows where they stand or what they should do. Dear man-reader, I am going to give you a tip: Women LOVE real contact. They salivate for it. And particularly at a time when our world is inundated with e-messages, the man who takes the time to make a phone call, cross the room, or look us in the eye for longer than 5 minutes is considered a higher class of being. By demonstrating real effort to make real contact, you are, essentially, a Real Man.

For all the fantasies that are out there, every woman would rather have a real man to hold over one who is merely dropping by a, "Whatz up 2nite?" weak-@$$ text.

I love you.

How can it be so easy to feel and so hard to say? I'd like to know who's fault it is so I have someone to blame.
This band is fantastic.

Stomach Contents.

I ran around all day and here are the stomach contents:

7am- no time for breakfast.

12pm- on the way to job interview3pm- no time to stop for lunch. Random twinkie on counter.6pm- running back and forth- best to at least eat SOMETHING rather than self-cannibalize. It wasn't even as good as it looks (and it looks bad). Plus, I ate it in the car, so most of it ended up on my white button down "interview" shirt.

8pm- hanging with a friend- random twinkie on counter. x2. A few leftover chips and a couple pieces of candy left over from a party.

10pm- a perfect way to end the night. I did end up in Pasadena first, but that seems typical when I'm looking for a concert in Silverlake. Go figgure. I don't drink alcohol, so here's what was left at the bar-12midnight. Too late to eat anything reasonable. Tomorrow will just have to be a better day.

The Hunt.

Thanks goes out to Kory; while she did not inspire this post, the timing of her 1996 reprisal as the Dancing Banana comes in a timely moment.Looking for a job is a lot like dating. There are three basic approaches to either:

You do your research based on your prior experiences and desire for the future to seek out the best possible match and then hope and pray they look your way. You submit your resume of interest and wait. You know you're qualified. You know they'll want you, if only they'd just look your way! There's not much more you can do without inspiring a restraining order if you're really trying to go for it. There may be back-door entries such as mailing your resume via FedEx so you can be sure the one you want gets the message and it's not thrown out by a jealous or territorial "assistant." Perhaps lurking outside the parking lot during lunch and hoping your qualified decision-maker-paramour might recognize you without looking like a stalker.You ask friends about connections, opportunities to network or job fair parties where you might come across "The One." And still, the most you can do is remind them about who you are and that you're still interested if there's ever a place for you in their company.

Another approach is to seek anything anywhere- you throw your nets out with maybe a few desired requirements, but let's be honest: You're desperate and you'll settle for anything short of donating your own bodily fluids. It may just be a "for now" to get you by while you keep an eye out for something better, or you may go into that retail shop full-well knowing you're planning to bounce the second a pharmaceutical job returns your call, but either way, you'll pretend it's enough to satisfy you. Just for now. This is how we all end up working dead-end temp jobs that become permanent- sometimes it's just enough to get by on and that can be comfort enough. Just don't lose sight of your end goal, or you'll turn around in 5 years wondering how the hell this loser wasted the best years of your life.

Finally, there's the hardest way. You know exactly what you want and what it will take to get it. You need to make some deep considerations on if this is what's best for you and have to consider the costs of putting it all on the line- mind, heart, body and soul. It may take humility, it may take more than 80 hours a week of invested time, but the passion and desire for this means you will sacrifice whatever it takes to get whatever experience you may need to be ready and qualified when the right spot opens up for you. You are preparing and keeping yourself ready and worthy to move up to the next level by doing everything you can right now so that, when the time is right, you can move forward with the utmost confidence and satisfaction in knowing that this is what you've always wanted.

Either way, all choices require that you consider what it is that YOU want. Sure, any job can approach you first- it happens to me every time I go shopping. The question is not so much if they want you, but if you want them. So prepare yourself, take inventory of who you are, what you have to offer and what your end goal is, so when The One comes along, not only will they want you, but you'll be ready for them.

Moby.

So.
Did I ever mention how I'm friends with Moby?
We met at a Christmas party in New York a few years ago and talked about the gospel for a few hours. He gave me his phone number and sometimes he sends me random emails of pictures of dogs or people I don't know or of his roof garden.
I just heard he is playing a set at KCRW tomorrow night- you should listen. He is nice.

I emailed him this morning when I heard the news. Here's what he had to say in return:
yup, i'll be in l.a for...a day.
landing, playing the show, then leaving.
so, alas, no time for salad.
but i'll be back soon!
moby

Mellow Drama.

It's no secret; I'm no romantic.
So what's an even-headed gal to do when faced with a man who is?

As I've mentioned, I write for a celebrity website. It's required that I extensively review and research their history. At one point, my (male) coworker leaned over and said, "That is SUCH a good movie." Shocked (and somewhat repulsed), I responded, "ugh. I never saw it because I heard how completely awful it was!" He recoiled and said, "Are you kidding?!? That's the most romantic movie I've ever seen!" (This is not an uncommon conversation for me to have.) I chortled. Genuinely curious, I asked, "So...What made it so romantic?" He leaned back and considered for a moment, "I think," he mused, "it is the most in love I have ever seen any actor play." Doing my best (not by much) to avoid wrinkling my nose in mistrust, I asked, "So- what made their relationship so romantic?" He responded, "He was just so in love. It was amazing how much he loved this woman. He would have done anything for her. But he couldn't have her. And when he couldn't have her, he just loved her even more and that just made him want her even more than before."
"Uhhh..." I asked, "Didn't they just meet randomly and he couldn't 'have her' because they were both in other relationships, right? Wasn't that the storyline?"
He paused, "Well...Yes. But, see- that just made him realize how much he loved her!"
At this point I'm gagging on my own horrified bile. Is this typical of romantic male reasoning? Wanting what you can't have? O. Now that's original. And even more- true passion and real love in Hollywood requires separation from the one you're currently committed in order to pursue the new woman who's just outside the title of "complete and total stranger." (See: The Wedding Planner, Serendipity, Runaway Bride, The Notebook, insert random chick-flick here- trust me- the formula works.)

Just the night before a friend (male) mentioned he was watching "The Holiday."
"ugh." I said. "I hated- hated- that movie! They should've just developed the Jack Black/Kate Winslet side of the story. At least that was based on an actual connection. Cameron Diaz and Jude Law- how on earth is that supposed to be romantic? They were both desperate and lonely and bored and drunk. They have sex and from that one-night stand with someone they have no obligations to, they fabricate a complicated and volatile relationship out of nothing!"
silence.
He said, "Okay. So I guess we like different movies."

Ever since I dated the guy who'd get teary-eyed whenever we had to say goodnight by 3am (as if parting were such sweet sorrow), I've been put off and slightly suspicious about these crocodile tears. How realistic is it that men are this sentimental, and what qualifies a relationship as 'romantic'? Isn't that usually just a formality to getting it on? When a man is so attached, so soon- how do you know when it's real or manufactured as a means to an end? Am I the only one to hesitate at the idea of falling into romance right away, or is this a realistic prospect? Do men really fall that hard that fast and actually mean it? Or are we all just brainwashed and conditioned to believe that irrational and wildly rushed are the essentials for real romance? This concept frightens me, as I cannot help but wonder- if it happens that quickly this time with me, how quickly will you fall into someone else when you're no longer engulfed in the drama of something new?

Newton's Law.

A girlfriend recently detailed her latest long-standing flirtation with someone from work. After a month of roadtrips and long talks and flirty texts, they finally went out. Over the last 2 weeks he has suddenly vacillated between either awkwardly ignoring her during or sending flirtatious text messages on the weekend. I don't know this guy and I don't know more than what she's told me about the situation, but it seems to me that a man who can't be bothered enough to pick up the phone after having an actual date doesn't seem to be man enough to expect any sort of response from her. Normally, I'd write the situation off as another case of "he's just not THAT into you" enough to behave like a normal human being- or even as someone remotely attentive. What gives me pause is the fact that she has confessed ignoring HIM and behaving just as awkwardly because now she really likes him. She responds to his flirtatious texts with (what she deems) "sassy, sarcastic" ones that some might find rather...deflating. She refuses to discuss their relationship with their other coworkers- particularly their mutual friends. It's made her even more insecure to know that he may or may not be talking about her- but she's stuck in the middle of not knowing what to do because, quite frankly, several weeks of flirting and a date or two does NOT a relationship make.

Newton's 3rd Law of Motion states that "for every action is an equal and opposite reaction." Is it giving him too much credit to say this guy is simply playing off of HER cool behaviour? Or is he, in fact, simply calling (ahem- texting) only when it's convenient for HIM? Does it even matter? I'm inclined to believe that if someone simply texts on a Friday night with no particular purpose that the only thing he's interested in is wasting time (at his convenience, mind you. Double bad). I'm also inclined to believe that the true message is in the meta verbals- if he's only calling when he knows you can't respond, but he continues to call and the tone is always inviting and friendly, perhaps that's as good as it will ever get. FRIENDLY. So far, that's as much credit as I'm willing to give this joker; they clearly like each other and have a good time, but it seems to me that his mind is made up to be nothing more than good friends.

So my remaining question is:
How much can we expect that men are reacting rather than acting out? I suspect that (when push comes to shove) men will pony up and make things happen with a woman they truly can't do without, and therefore any behaviour short of this means he's not really interested in pursuing anything beyond friendship- but maybe I'm giving too much credit (or my expectations for one to man-up is too high). You tell me. Is he wasting her time, or just waiting for when the timing is right?

Janice Dickinson is Thin.

Janice Dickinson is insane.

This is not a shocking statement. What IS shocking is how she gets away with being cruel, humiliating and an all around harpie. She has her own tv show about models and she just yelled at a model for being "fat." "Fat," meaning she isn't starving herself anymore or living in the gym. The young model explained that she's more interested in being healthy this year, and that she wasn't happy making herself hungry. Janice flew into a rage (probably because SHE hasn't eaten anything since 1972) and forced her teen model to trade skirts. "If you can fit into my size 4 skirt, I'll eat my #&*$% words."

Dramatic Pause. (In this dramatic pause, I'd like to insert that I don't look terribly thin, and even I am a size 4. So I don't know what this woman is talking about. The girl was hardly fat. She simply looked HEALTHY.)

The model fit.

Janice, shocked, ate her words. Figuratively, of course. I don't think she'd be bothered to actually EAT anything (especially after that rant).

My question is, as I see these beautiful people clinging to their most personal parts, crying and mumbling, "I'm not fat, I'm not fat..." I'm wondering how- in this day and age- verbal harassment and physical abuse works in the professional world- or any world at all! Now, I'm not going to attack Ms Dickinson's physical appearance. That would be far too easy. But forcing a bunch of tweens to pose nude for a senior citizen's art class...somehow I doubt that has anything to do with booking them a shoot and more to do with the fact that Janice's ratings probably required showing blurred body parts of young, beautiful people squirming self-consciously before the geriatrics.

Further, the boasting and bravado Janice has for herself and her work is so inflated, it absolutely reeks of desperation. She continually touts the "well-known"ness of various magazine's she's booking for, even though no one has ever heard of it before. The shoot itself ended up looking more like dime-store soft-core porn rather than front cover fashion.

The artifice of fame, the mad clawing for attention, the pathetic wimper for recognition; it's all of the culture we've created to legitimize our existence without actually producing something from ourselves. This dependancy upon validation from external sources has got to stop. Or we may all end up looking like, or looking toward pleasing, someone like Janice.
I can live in Hollywood. But I'm so damn glad that I'm not of Hollywood.

True Life.

Is it ironic that now that I have all this time on my hands, I have no time to write?
I don't like writing so much about myself or my real life- I like to stick to the theoretics of life and (for the few people who actually read) most people seem to like when I dissect their relationship issues in my simplistic, smarmry way. So I try to do that.

Here's the bullet points. I'll fill in the blanks later.
* I am living in LA for July while my friend is out of town.
* My car was broken into, so I am already missing my bluetooth and GPS. Sadly, the deductable outweighs what was stolen. It figures I'd get robbed within 24 hours and that they'd take the TWO THINGS I really truly need to survive in LA. Ah well. I hear transients steal to hawk it on the streets for $50, so maybe I can find a transient who will sell back my GPS for $50.
* I need a job that doesn't make me want to cry. Something that is interesting and challenging and that will afford me an apartment in Los Angeles.
* If I don't get a kickass job in LA, I'm moving to Korea/Japan/Hong Kong to teach English in August/September. I figure in the year I'm gone, the economy may buck up a little and I'll be able to find something I actually want to do.
* The plan to get my Master's is still on the table because I would eventually like to teach at a Jr College. But I need to figure out where I'm living and how I'll pay for said education.

So. Master's and guitar lessons- they're still on the list, but I need a home first. And before the home, I guess I need a job.
In the meanwhile, I'm having a fabulous time.

My View.

Let me put this clearly: I hate "The View." The one pretty girl is an uptight showpony and the others are petty, miserly and crude (when they can manage an act) in an attempt to be "real" and "charmingly candid." Today at the gym, though, I saw that the guest was Michelle Obama. Not only was there no "Law & Order" on, but was I curious to hear what the potential future first lady had to say, so really, the timing was perfect.

Michelle Obama has been described as the next Jacqueline Kennedy. She has also been accused of being anti-American and racist. She's a role model. A mother of two. A lawyer. She's also the wife to potentially our first African-American President. So...clearly, this is woman who will have some interesting things to say.

Immediately I knew I liked her. Really. A lot. She sometimes wears designer, and she sometimes wears a simple dress from White House/Black Market and "you put a little pin on it and you got something going on!" She's refreshingly honest- and I mean in the sincere, realistic way- not "The View" manufactured-to-look-casual way. She laughs about her mornings- that her husband doesn't understand how she needs more than 20 minutes to get out the door when she's got her hair and makeup to fix in the morning, PLUS 2 girls to preen. She quotes her own 10 year old daughter with pride and candor, who cleverly responded to a nosey reporter on being in the spotlight, "Those people aren't here to see me. I'm just a kid...I can't pass any laws!...They just think I'm cute."

She intelligently and kindly discusses diversity and racism, her feelings on family as well as her pride in the electorate process of our country. And what does this roundtable of "diverse" and supposedly intelligent women take her?

Pantyhose.

"I'm wearing pantyhose to show respect today, but...YOU're not wearing any pantyhose!"
Followed by an ear-bleedingly phony discussion on hose.
GAG.

And they wonder why no one takes them seriously.

Mrs. Obama, I'm in your corner. If this is what it means to be elitist, thank you for not stooping to their level.

DanceFace!

Between this and Facebook, I am sensing a very promising future...

Check it out and send me your submissions:
www.danceface.blogspot.com

Par Example:Kind of inspiring, isn't it?

Jumping the Gun.

Lately I see a lot of carts before horses around me. Usually those are the carts of good-hearted, well-intentioned men (so I like to think).
But why the onslaught of friends calling me to say that they're breaking up with someone before the relationship is even...well...A Relationship?!?

Real conversation:
he: I'm just not sure I want to start a long-distance thing.
me: Have you even gone out with her yet?
he: I just met her yesterday. But she lives out of state. I don't even know if I want to bother putting forth effort into that kind of distance.
me: (laughing) Well...maybe you should call her first to see if there's any reason to keep in touch at all.

Another real conversation:
she: I just got this email from (a guy I went out once with 3 months ago). I think he's breaking up with me.
me: Wait, who? You aren't dating anyone, though, are you?
she: Well...we went out three months ago and I emailed him to tell him I had a good time and it was nice talking to him and then I never heard from him again. And now I just got this email- three months later- where he says that he just didn't want to pursue things with me because he didn't have feelings for me like that, but he would still like to be friends.
me: (stunned silence.) Are you sure he wasn't just kidding?
It seems like lately there's a lot of breaking up with people we haven't even started dating yet. This worries me. Why are we eliminating people from our lives before we even have time to consider them as friends, let alone romantic possibilities? Considering that we only have time and patience for so much shallow conversation, why is it we're limiting ourselves from the only kind of connection that really matters- a genuine one. And even then, why do we rush to the conclusion that a genuine connection must result in a terminal relationship? Whatever happened to all those glorious, fun, enjoyable levels of relationships in-between? Can't we just enjoy being FRIENDS for a while? Especially in a world so lacking in Real, True Friendship and caring, I think there's something to be said for knowing when you have someone in your corner, wanting the best for you- even when that doesn't mean having them.

To all of you who may be jumping the gun on breaking up before you've gotten to know someone, I'm going to share my relationship ladder with you. I hope it will ease your pain and soothe your freaked-out hearts.
Best of luck.

The Relationship Ladder:
What it takes to get to know someone. And then date them. And THEN marry them.
1. Acknowledgement
2. Friendly Conversation
3. Occasional mixed-gatherings
4. Occasional one-on-one conversation
5. Occasional one-on-one quality time
6. Frequent one-on-one time
7. Expected/Assumed one-on-one time
(You may add "with steps 1-3," involving other people to this, too.)
8. One-on-one time with the goal of commitment
9. One-on-one time with the express intent of commitment
10. Exclusive, committed time
11. Engagement
12. Marriage.

If you ask me, that's a lot of steps and a lot to progress through. If at any point in time, you feel burdened, just ask yourself: Do I want to see this person again? If the answer is no- you can stop seeing them. If the answer is yes, you can move forward. It's a fairly simple process, really. If you're still contemplating breaking up with that person, ask yourself: Do I want to see them for the next 2 hours? If the answer is no, go ahead and stop seeing them. But unless the reason you don't want to see someone again is because you just plain don't want them in your life- don't WORRY about it.

Remember, "Cart-Before-the-Horse" friends, there are two sides of every coin to deal with. As much as you might worry they're getting too attached to you, there's a whole other party involved who just might feel like YOU are the one getting way too fond of them.

Costa Rica SOUNDS Like:

"You're WELCOME." -f.
"Oh...Those are just our bugs that hang out on the counter. You would've known that if you'd been here for the past 2 days. Don't worry, Broek, you'll catch on." -Rachel.
"Crumpleface!" -Rachel
"Pull my finger..." -everyone. A little too often, if you ask me...
"SNORE instead of SNORT!" -Hailey
"Look at my cankle." Caroline
"All of our legs look the same!" -The Koreans
"We're outnumbered!" -Rachel
"I don't really know those guys." -Dalen vouches for Julio and Claudio when we invite them home to cook plantaines
"O-$#!%." -everyone. Depending on who was driving. (sorry.)
"Bare your boobs proudly." -Rachel (of course.)
"I will cut you." -Caroline
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAROLINE!" -Everyone.

Costa Rica is:

"Pura Vida!"
baby monkeys fighting
the butterfly farm with no butterflies
RANDOM.
macaws
old ladies that sit on benches marked, "do not sit on bench."
the grass really IS greener on the other side!
HELAGO.
Dalen's car.
watermelon fruit juice
beans & rice are so very nice!
white sand private beach days
car games
waking up to swim
shaking down the mango tree
canopy rides!
living in swimsuits
Korean Legends
sunburns that last all week
Truth or Dare
MIRACLES.
Hotel Via Poletus- the Sunset Celebration with no sunset
crazy drivers
Broek eats Hailey's candy. All of it.
speed bumps and potholes
cows.
trip to Volcano National Park for wildlife. It rained. We saw nothing.
entering the butterfly farm through the exit...
swimming in the rain
high tide
Hailey learns to body surf
skinny dipping. LOTS of skinny dipping.
flashers. (mostly just Whools.)
Dalen kissing the resident frog
CARNIVAL! magic.
salted plantains con limon
Caroline conquers water
Sex Education.
"YOU'RE WELCOME."
Dalen's polygamist family- the Sistah-Wives!
"Take the picture! Delete it! ...My girlfriend can't see that." -D.
Costa Rican Muffin Top
Water from the well: An Experiment of Faith.
SODAS.
Cow balls in soup. Yum.
Beautiful children everywhere.
"I have no pants on!" -Whoolia
night calisthenics
spin the bottle
"It's everybody's birthday sometime!" -boys
crazy neighbour dogs
rock tile showers
"Got any schrapnal?" -Dalen
Hump-back cows. How did we not get ANY pictures of those?!?!
"Me and Julio, down by the schoolyard."

"Sexual. A lot." -Caroline
Rachel's lapdance
Caroline and her Korean crew.
cheese puffs- twisted!
SPF 50 is the only way to NOT get burned
flooding at the gates
meet our mini-ants. "hellooo!"
model shots
freckles from the canopy mudlines
parades!
CRISTAL. ALL. day. long.
The Arenal Dome- 5 times!
big, buff, floating Jesus. AMEN.
pretty church music
invitation to see horses that never were
rain at 3 o'clock on the daily
boobs. lots of boobs. lots of boob talk. lots of boob flashing.

Touchdown.

May 17. 2008
"God said He would give His life so we could live more abundantly."

-The woman in the seat beside me. She is talking on her cell phone over even my iPod. But from God to Wal-Mart to foot surgery to weather to getting sick of her job, I feel like it's a conversation I would've had with her, if either of us put down our cell toys and iPods and actually acknowledged one another were there. Side by side in an airport.

May 18.2008
It hasn't even been 24 hours and already I am loving this vacation. Yes, the weather is lovely and perfect and everything is green and lush and we're eating mangos and starfruit from the trees down the street and it rains so gently and so sweetly that I feel like it's the weather trying to wrap us in a blanket of welcome home; but it's the people- my friends- on this trip that have made it spectacular. I find myself- the lover traveler- no wanting to leave for even a moment from the conversation, even well into the night. As Rachel said, "we just all have so much interesting stuff to say!" And it's delightful. It's a rush in a way I haven't experienced in a very long time. And while I've never been much for "girl talk" or the constant stream of conversation, with this roomful of women I feel safe, comfortable, and moreso, interested in what they have to say.


May 20. 2008
This morning I woke up in the dark and could not go back to sleep. I lay there under the fan, willing myself to sleep as the sounds of birds began. First, just one rhythmic voice, later joined by various types of twitter as the sun came up. It's 6:30am now and the stillness after last night's downpour is heavy and thick and smells of sweet pineapple. The rooster crows.

It's time to go for a run.

Costa Rica FEELS like:

And just so you know how jealous you really are, you should check out the ones by my girl, Thursty.

ADAPT.

May 17. 2008

"You can plan all you want, but at a certain point, you just have to realize it's out of your control and you have to let go." So my friend's husband says in talking about how his military training has affected his perspective on life.
15 minutes later, I missed my flight.
I had done all I could do- planned further in advance as I ever have for anything; purchasing a ticket months before the flight date, looking at maps, talking with experienced travelers to Costa Rica, timetabling the girls on our trip, packing and re-sorting 3 times, arriving in LA a day before the flight so not to risk the traffic from Orange County, waking up at 7am so I would be sure to drop the car off at Julia's so we'd be sure to head to the airport no later than 8:15am. And still- after all this- when we pulled up the airport just 1 hour prior to our flight, I realized:
I FORGOT MY PASSPORT.
In my urgency to make certain it would not be misplaced, I left it on the cupholder of my car.

Costa Rica Has:

Lovely views. Cool drinks on the sand.
Key word: Random. Like a deer on the beach beside the jungle. It kissed my hand. Really.
CARNIVAL!!!
Street performers.

This is what Costa Rica tastes like:

Crocodiles. Lots of them.
Candy canes that are currently 70% off. By the end of May, you'd think they'd be free, but not in the Rica!
Mangos. Fresh mangos from the neighbour's tree. This one I climbed. The other one, I shook until I got one. Square in the face. Justice is served...for breakfast.
Hailey found some avocados by the side of the road as well- beans & rice get fancy with us!
And limes. Beautiful, glorious LIMES. On EVERYTHING. Yum.

Kids.

The other day a little boy ran by, tripping along and giggling hysterically. My friend turned to me and said, "Don't you ever wish you could just go back to that time again?" The next weekend I found myself surrounded by kids at Chuck E Cheese. I turned to my friend and said, "something seems very wrong about being here without a legitimate reason to be here...with a kid." He responded, "what are you talking about; you have a bunch of friends who act like kids!" He's so very right...

Except they're in way better shape than kids...
And we wear way higher shoes...
And we can drive already...
He's right. We're just like kids, only hotter and with no bedtime.

But the giggling? It's always funny to hear...

package

A guy recently asked me what kind of man was I interested in. I said, "Not anything grand- I don't really have a type or look; just a good guy who is kind that I could have an intelligent conversation with and still laugh a lot." He looked at me and goes, "So- basically the whole package...That's going to be hard to find."
Talk about a bleak outlook.
Do you really think it's expecting too much? It seemed a reasonable set of expectations to me at the time, but what do I know? What does it really take to go from being attracted to someone to dating them?

Ladies: a survey to lend some clarity.


Men: because we're just so darn curious!

Feel free to add what "other" is on the comments section. It's all anonymous, so vote away!

The Wait is Over!

Thanks to Krista, I've learned that, "The Wait Is OVER!" Apparently I've been waiting for this- and I'm sure you have, too- and it's happening May 15!
So far, it looks like most of their tour is based in Boston (lucky Katie!) and it makes me proud to see they're not wussing out and kicking it like "NKOTB" (which I always resented as a moniker because it required me to have to think too hard to get the initials correct). I loved the New Kids when they WERE new...apparently they got much edgier and cooler by the time the NKOTB phase of "Hangin' Tough." I didn't like them rough, those New Kids. I liked the soft, sad pleadings of "Please Don't Go Girl," so reminiscent of the Four Tops or other MoTown crooners, or the pure pop-joy of, "I Wanna Be Loved By You," and the playfulness of their first album's singsong-y introductions.

Will the world ever tire of poorly choreographed manboys with harmonizing falsettos in matching outfits? Lord. I sure hope not.

Run.

If a breezy, friendly jog along the gorgeous, palm-lined streets of Newport Beach sounds nice, sign up.

If a 5K with your friends sounds fun, sign up.

If you don't think paying to run sounds cool, but ending it with a gamut of pizza, burritos and creme brulee from the finest dining in Corona Del Mar sounds worth an hour of your time, you're in my division.
SIGN UP!I've never been one for being noble through sports and fitness:
I don't run to cure cancer, I don't walk to stop AIDS, and I don't relay to save the children. But you'd better believe you put a burrito at the finish line and I will hustle something fierce.