Monday, January 18, 2010

Singleness: Hazardeous to Your Health

Now I've heard this argument attested to by my sworn enemy, Science, before. He is relentless in proving that being single is hazardous to one's health- particularly a woman's health. I had to re-read this article just to be certain it wasn't published 30 years ago in a weak attempt to oppress and demean women. But, no! It's from January of this year- 2010. Herein, Science "proves" that single people take more sick days and particularly single women suffer more injuries in a year than those who are married. What my loathed nemesis, Science, is trying to "prove," is that we'd all be healthier if we were married (particularly women). Clearly this study doesn't get out much. My much more logical assessment of the statistics suggest that single people as a whole are likely just using their "sick" days as "play" days.

A (single) friend commented, "I can't think of the last time I took a sick day and was actually sick." As a general, most single people are accrueing those sick days for amazing adventure vacations and random days for irresponsiblity. Those who are divorced in the article are likely dealing with children, family emergencies and tending to business/errands that require personal time. As for the widowed, there are far more women likely to outlive their husbands, so the "scientific" deduction that widowed men fare better, I would respond, "there are probably 4 women taking care of that man and each one of those women outlived their own spouse to begin with!" (Eat THAT, Science.)

As for these single, female journalists who maybe "protest too much" to this Stephan Mason, PhD, maybe they're percieved that way because, as ANY of us (male or female) can attest, somehow, our marital status (or lack thereof) seems to be a HUGE issue to non-involved parties as a topic of discussion or debate. (see: family reunions, holidays, dinner parties, church, basically anywhere people who are married and over 30 mill around.) I almost never encounter this question in the workplace, as it has no effect on my efficiency, productivity, competency or sense of humor and adeptness within social situations. Perhaps this is why so many single people are able to focus on their careers without distraction or obligation external of their own chosen social events. Perhaps that busyness is why we are not dating as much and have chosen to stay single until we meet someone as fulfilling as our work results. Surprisingly enough, Science has turned a blind eye into inquiring WHY there would be such a result.

O, Science. You lazy bastard. No wonder why you're still single.

9 comments:

naomi said...

just another piece of evidence that single people are the most discriminated group of people in this country. just wait till tax time...

Krista said...

And, THIS, Farrah, is why I love you.

Krista said...

And, as a side note, may I suggest reading the book "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin circa 1963. You will "love" it.

f*bomb. said...

Uhhh, it's titled, "The Fascinating Woman" and if I were smart enough to follow the edicts of Mrs Helen B Andelin, I am thoroughly convinced I would be married by now.

PS.
I hate taxes.

Jillian said...

The tricky part is coming back from 'sick' time and explaining the newly aquired tan.

f*bomb. said...

Welcome back, Jillian! For people like you and Naomi, I am trying harder.
Bringing Banter Back: 2010

Jillian said...

I didn't know that you know Naomi! I'm down with Backing the Banter. Do what you can. We're going nowhere, obviously.

(Not sure if that's good or bad. Ah well)

Tamara Atkin said...

Way to shoot a hole in the premise. Using sick days as a measure of health is simply not bright. I heard a study that used lifespan and it reported that single women lived longer than married and married men live longer than single. Meaning that it is better for men's health to marry and worse for women's health. Therefore it is a great sacrifice for a women to marry because a man will suck the life force from you, but if you are truly in love and you die together it can be a fair exchange.

f*bomb. said...

Yeah. Like I said, "Science, you are dumb. And unattractive."