Thursday, March 29, 2007

Music is Better Than Food.

The Feeling: Never Be Lonely.

I like everything about these fellows.* They're younger, thinner, and more European than I am, so therefore, they are my new favourite band. I am kicking myself for not having the cash to get their CD. So if they're on tour near you, do us both a favour. Buy the album, get it signed, and hug each and every one of these boys for me. They prove that outstanding music and the art of performance still exists in this world of manufactured "hits."
I'm not even kidding you. I streamed their online clips for six hours straight, and keep doing that for a few hours every day since the concert. O! You damned ATM card with the faulty magnetic strip!!! My fast-food-excuse-for-a-meal was NOTHING compared to THE FEELING.

Jack Bauer thinks they're f*ing fantastic. And he has promised to kill anyone who disagrees. I swear. I was there. In the velvety-red room upstairs of House of Blues. You can read about it in THE FEELING's blog.

There have been some outstanding shows this year. Live music is so much better when the artist understands the art of performance. Par example- Alyson LOVES Jack Johnson, so we waited to see him in SanDiego's Street Scene. About 10 minutes in, Jack was so boring we ditched out to hit the Foo Fighters. I danced so hard I lost my sunglasses. And I didn't even care. THAT is how hot the Foo do rock.

Other fantastic shows I will always try and hit:
Joss Stone
Amos Lee
Isaac Hayden
Oasis (yeah- how lucky am I?!?!)
Matt Nathanson

Still kicking myself for missing:
Under the Influence of Giants BIG TIME.
Gwen Stefani

Obviously I have my favourites who haven't even been close to coming my way, so they're not listed. So. Go ahead. Tell me what else I'm missing. I know Broek, Bree, Veeda & Brendan, Caroline, Isaac, Katie, Alyson and Dainon will have amazing suggestions. Listen to them and O- be wise.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Sanjaya Must Die.

I was going to post a picture of this catastrophe. But I can't. The whole experience is just. Too. Painful.
If it wasn't bad enough already, he butchers Gwen Stefani on top of it all...I will kill him. KILL HIM.

*So the sadist in me just couldn't resist. I only wish this clip could capture the horror when you see it on 32". Seriously. Dying slowly and painfully here...

We need less Sanjaya and more of this:

Friday, March 23, 2007

My Day.

Krista always tells me she wonders what is going on in my head. Actually, a few people have wondered.

Want to know what my world is like? It's like this:

Exactly like this.

*My mom actually sewed a gold dress for prom and I wore it with my yellow Chucks.
Thank you for understanding me, Lily Allen. Thank you.

Your turn. Post your favourite video- I'm so out of the loop- I haven't seen Mtv in years, and am still struggling with the acceptance of finally being in the VH1 demographic...rather unsettling.

So far, I'm mad about OKGO music videos on YouTube, and the band I can't stop listening to is THE FEELING. And if anyone can tell me how to post an actual video instead of all these unattractive links, blog and I would really appreciate it.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Real Talk.

Real conversation last night:

K: My married friends kept bugging me to flirt more at your party. They kept saying, "THAT's your problem! You needed to go back there and FLIRT some more. But I know 3/4 of the guys there- they're my FRIENDS. We already know each other. But all I heard was that it was MY fault for not being married at 29- because I didn't flirt at your party.

F: I have the same experience every time I go to Utah. At first I think it's okay- then I see that I could get a 3 story home with a finished basement for $150. FINISHED BASEMENT! And Law School is begging for me- hmmm...LAW SCHOOL AND a FINISHED BASEMENT! And then, by day 3 or 4, I get the "you're not married because you (require a complete overhaul of your personality)" speech. By then, I'm like, "Well, F*THAT! F*Utah! F*YOU!!! F*ALL of YOU!!! "

K: I love you. You're a breath of fresh air.

F: F*yeah.
...What was that? The least attractive attribute in a woman was listed as, "language"? oops.

*As Miss Caroline says, "I'm 31, and I look GREAT!" This photo has people still under 31, but we look damn good anyway.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


Do or Do Not.
There is No Try.

I took a quiz once on what Star Wars Character are you?* I am Yoda. The shortness, odd turn of phrase, affection for soup and bare feet were probably factors. But this video clears any possible doubt that Yoda is my soul twin.

Sooo, anyone up for Ocean's Ave again Friday night?

The quiz:
*I'm a total Star Wars geek and I don't even care. I'll watch Return of the Jedi with you any day of the week.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Blogging is the new Porn.

My friend Caroline won't blog because she thinks her life is boring. But here's what she IM'd me as what her blog would be, and I think it's perfect:
so... i worked today and didn't love it.
then i ate some food.
and liked that better.
the end.

Some favourite blogs:

  • 13 O'Clock. My first time. I didn't even this was called a blog until I started seeing others. See how innocent and pure I used to be?
  • Breezlebub. She's a Republican, but I love her anyway.
  • Cancer Candy.* Veeda's site makes me cry for her honesty, sincerity, and bravery.
  • RepliKate. You'll read all about how her weekends are so much better than any of mine. But I pretty much just sit around and watch tivo. Seriously.
  • The New Awesome. Nothing better than new awesomeness every day. Or a calendar of year 'round Peeps.
  • Gladhanded. In the mid-nineties, everyone I knew had a crush on him, but he still won't believe me. Now I add the blog to things I like about Damian Dayton, along with his cousin, Tom.

Please add to the list. I doubt anyone is as unseasoned a blogger as I am. And I know I've left some off the list. So please. Tell me what blogs have lured you in... Kelli- This is for you.

*If anyone knows Derek's blog, I lost the site- it was fantastic, and very reassuring. Plus, it was full of bald hotties. purrrr.

Read often. Comment lots. It makes me feel less self-indulgent if I know people are actually connecting with each other. Or spying. Or Eavesdropping.
My blog. The new Happy Hour.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Survey Says!

Sooo, the other day, we were asked to fill out a survey on dating. What do women expect from men? What do we want from them? What qualities are you looking for in a man? And so on. The results are somewhat depressing. And by "depressing," I mean, "predictable" and "hilarious."

Some responses to the survey:

Wait! Someone is asking me out?
If he walks upright and is breathing, that's a plus.
I don't need him to open the door. I don't need him to pay. But if he'd ask me out, that'd be nice.
If anyone omits, "attractive" from her list, she's kidding herself.
I want to get to know you, not your wallet.
Abs. Just. Abs.
Mostly I'm looking for someone who has money. Lots and lots of money.*

The general consensus was, of course, women want a man to be good. To be good human beings- kind and respectful and decent to us as well as others. Not to text us in the middle of the night for a booty call, or think it's acceptable to be sleazy around some girls who are "cool enough to handle it," and have a double-standard for the girls who are still "innocent." We want to be treated with respect, kindness, and thoughtfulness. The other sad generalized feeling was that, regardless of what men are told, they will continue to behave as they always have. Getting a lecture on dating isn't really going to make them start dating any more than they already are. Knowing women filled out a survey on what we want isn't going to stop men from buying into that "James Dean in a leather jacket driving a racecar" portrayal that women like a bad-boy.**

These responses are funny because none of these women really expect anything to change.
Are we getting too smart for courtship? Too cynical? Too good-humored? Are our expectations of men too low? Are our expectations for ourselves too low? And if we're just "over" the idea of courtship, why does it still feel so nice to have someone want to take an hour or two to sit down and get to know us?

* to this woman, I say: Gold Bars NEVER go out of season. NEVER!!!
** I see multiple photos of James Dean playing chess, wearing glasses, and I can pretty much be certain he likes puppies and loves his mother. I love you, James. Call me.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

"I just wish you were a better singer."

I'm mean. Because I agree with Simon Cowell. Not even agree. Most of the time, I make a comment and then Simon repeats my opinion. The man is dead on. People would do well to quit their pandering and whining and sloppy sob stories and just accept that at least SOMEONE is being honest with them. I commend the guy. He's honest, and he's right, and the fact he's willing to take two minutes to even acknowledge these "contestants" as vocalists- well- they'd be wise to take notes, not start crying.
  • Contestant #1- No. You're not special. In fact, you're anorexic and we can all see that because you can barely hold up the mic and your body looks about ready to crumple to the floor at any moment. How do you expect to keep up a demanding tour schedule or long rehersals or singing a 4 minute song without collapsing if you don't eat something?

  • Contestant #2- Look, Pedro. No one is gonna vote for you until you get a haircut and learn to sing. It's not your fault that you're insecure because you look like the love child of Prince and Micheal Jackson and will never experience puberty. You have nice teeth, but you ain't gonna be NOBODY's "Idol."

  • Contestant #3- If you don't stop crying, I'm gonna give you something to cry about. Do you think Madonna cried when people didn't like her outfit? Was Elvis pretty bummed when he realized he was fat? Do you think the Beatles cried when people kept harassing them about breaking up or dying? Maybe they did cry- but for goodness sake, they didn't make expect their fans to like them because they were being pathetic. They had actual fans because they made awesome music. If you're going to make it in this industry- in any industry!- you have got to toughen up! And relying on your grandma's sob story? That's just pathetic.
  • Whoever told you that hat was acceptable is not your friend. You look like an alien. Or Powder. Please. Just stop making eyes at the camera. It's not working for you.

The fact is, (as is with any "reality competition") you can tell right off the bat who will be in the Top 10- nay- the Top 5. The rest of you are just filling airtime between commercials. In the real world of auditions, you're lucky if the judges even let you finish. And no, they're not about to take the time to give you feedback OR a second chance. Take that reality.

* I hate reality television. And American Idol is an insult to kareoke.
**This is the girl who will win Idol. I don't remember her name, but she has no neck and is adorable.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007


I'm not gonna lie. I owe my health to Law and Order and The Practice. When I first attempted a treadmill, I had the lung capacity of a 2-pack-a-day smoker and was lucky to hit a low pace for 10 minutes straight. But thanks to the brilliant twists, turns, and double-crossing who-dunits of legal drama, I can hit up a 45 minute run without even thinking about the crippling sideache and occasional dry heave. In fact, if there are back-to-back episodes, I'll go for 2 hours and love it like it's cake.

And now I've received Jury Summons. Finally. My day in court is here. I can't hardly wait. Because that Bobby Donnell is dreamy.*

*Bobby Donnell is also Irish and from Boston. Double dreamy!

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Twin Beds = Celibate Men

It's not just true on "I Love Lucy." If a man is sharing a room and sleeping in a twin bed, one things is for certain: That guy is not getting laid.

Katie and I were talking the other night about men and twin beds, and she said, "There are only 3 times when a man should be sleeping in a twin bed and sharing a room. When he's a little boy, when he's on a mission, and when he's in college. But that is it. There is no reason for a man to be 30 and in a twin bed, still sharing a room." To which I proceeded to illustrate that two best friends (men), used to work for the same company, share the same room, and slept in...BUNK BEDS. I won't even get into the matching company cars and sync'd Milli Vanilli soundtracks. In any case, raised eyebrows at work aside, neither one got married until AFTER they'd moved away from each other and got queens. They're now married with kids and definately not gay.
Now, I recognize that (due to a little something called "morality"), NONE of us are getting any. However, the point is, that until you get out on your own, little soldier, and get a bed big enough for the both of us; no self-respecting woman is going to bed with a man who still lives like a boy.

Conclusion: If you are a man and are still sleeping in a twin bed and sharing a room, the chances of you getting a woman in there are about as good as Ricky Ricardo's. And that guy was already married.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Getting Lucky-

A few years ago, I saw a "St Patrick's Day" card at a friend's house. I didn't know people actually CELEBRATED St Patrick's Day, and he informed me that it was, "bigger than Christmas." I called my grandmother later and she said, "Farrah- YOU celebrate St Patrick's Day! We're Irish!" She then began listing all the things that should have been clues to my heritage:
  • corned beef and cabbage.
  • the 4 leaf clover patch
  • green eggs for breakfast
  • Grampa's obsession with Ireland
You would think I should have caught on. Maybe being the only Asian in the house threw me off a littlebit. We may never know. Suffice to say, NOW I celebrate St Patty's with purpose.

So, as we approach this year's "Get Lucky" party, I am trying to come up with playlists for '007. So far, all I've got are "Luck be a Lady"-Sinatra, "Lucky Star"-Madonna, and a few others from my iTunes list. So if you know
of any other songs about luck, fortune, the Irish, Colin Farrell, the colour green, or getting drunk, let me know. Post your songs for the "Getting Lucky" playlist. iPod and I will thank you for it.

And then, come and celebrate on the 17th with the annual "Get Lucky" party.

*is anyone else getting major icks from the way Sir Sean is looking at me? ew.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

I Found Love in '007

Well. It’s finally happened. I’ve finally found the love of my life and his name is iPod. It’s only been 3 days- a whirlwind, I know!- but I spend every moment thinking about ipod- every second checking to see if he’s finished downloading yet so I can give him another album….While my 1984 walkman and mix tapes have still joined me on all my business trips (and will probably continue to accompany me to the beach), I am already far more attentive and devoted to ipod than any boy I’ve ever dated. I guess I am finally ready to commit.

I know, I know. Everyone tells me that ipod should probably at least take me out to dinner once and a while, but you and I and everyone else has already heard me say a million times that I’d rather go out to a concert or a show than to a month of dinners---ipod gives me exactly what I want. It’s like ipod understands my SOUL. From musicals to oldies to tambourine solos…I mean, the excitement never stops! And even though he has a suspicious amount of disco and Broadway, he is just so sleek and pretty; and I’m not too shy to say that I don’t mind being seen with him.

I made sure the first song I heard on ipod was by “The Beautiful South.” My first cd AND my first cd player were also dedicated by “The Beautiful South.” It’s poetic, really. Who says I’m not a romantic? *sigh…*
As Karen Carpenter once sang (as ipod reminded me several times today), “We’ve only just begun…”


It seems a little self-indulgent to me that I would start a blog. Of course, that's how I felt about cell phones in 1999. Shows what I know. Plus, due to the overwhelming lack of communication I maintain with friends and (even moreso) family*- and that I continue to destroy my cell phones and lose YOUR digits, this seems to be an easy one-spot blogspot to spotFarrah. And you know how much I do love efficiency. And bringing my friends together. And writing essays. And now, here you are. Unite, My People! With YOUR participation, this proves to be the best blog love-in since internet dating and porn.**

And who are we kidding? For years, you've totally been wondering what's roaming around in my brain...

Now it's your turn, my lovelies. Post a topic. Any topic. Especially if it's about how much you love iPod.

* Shout out to Krista (for wondering), Bree (for inspiring), Gramma (for complaining), Kristiana (for trying), the Veeda (for sentiment), Derek (for proving), and 13 O'Clock for sexy. Comment, or the blog gets it.
** There will be no internet dating or porn on this site. Well. Mostly none.