Monday, December 24, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
This struck fear into my very heart. If you make it to the very end, I promise you, you will be completely horrified/amused.
This post is dedicated to all my adorable Asian-loving friends and to the ones obsessed with poo (you know who you are). Merry Christmas. Now don't ever ask me to support your values ever again.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
By David Alberts
(Thanks for the tip, Broek.)
People are so impatient nowadays. Everyone's rushing to find someone, get married, settle down, and have kids. Call me old- fashioned, but I believe in taking things slow. That's why I never talk on the first date. Or on the second or third date, if I can help it.
I know women want it. I can tell by the way they look at me and ask all kinds of questions about where I grew up, what I do for a living, and what books I've read lately. Hell, most women these days expect us to talk on the first date. They think they deserve it, just because I'm dressed a certain way and sitting across from them while they ask me personal questions.
Well excuse me, but I'm just not that kind of guy. You know the type—talkative. Sure, some people can just move from one conversation to the next, or engage in three-way chats on a whim, but I'm not one of them. I can't just dive into an intimate discussion with a complete stranger. I mean, my God, can't we get to know each other a bit before we go straight into the heavy discussion?
I know what you're thinking, but I'm not a prude. I'm not above nodding on a first date, and if I really like someone, giving one-word answers to a variety of questions. On a second date, after a few drinks, I might tell a quick story. But that's where I draw the line. I have standards, and I'm not going to debase myself by flapping my gums for any woman who agrees to go to my office Christmas party at the last minute.
It's not even like I'm saving my talking for marriage. I just don't want to give away all my anecdotes to the wrong person. I respect myself too much to be bullied into talking to a woman before we've gotten the chance to see if we really connect.
I guess that's just how I was raised.
Besides, when you start off a date right away by saying "Hello" and immediately giving her 10 minutes of back-and-forth that shows that you're both intelligent and entertaining, that's all you're ever going to be in her mind: a great talk. A guy she could just call up whenever she feels like it for some no-strings-attached conversation. It's like my father always said: Why buy the cow when you can talk to the cow for free?
Unfortunately, I had to learn my lesson the hard way. There was this girl I really liked a while back, and I wanted to impress her so badly I ended up opening my mouth before we even got our appetizer. I think I had a little too much wine, because I don't even remember what I said, really.
She kept me around for a few months, but she just used me for my intellect and emotions. She wanted to talk all the time, day and night, without any consideration for whether I wanted to or not. Sometimes she wanted to do it as soon as I woke up in the morning. And when I told her I had had enough and that I never wanted to talk to her again, she stopped calling me altogether. Women.
But I'm not going to give up on my dream. Isn't there anyone out there who doesn't have a one-track mind about interpersonal communication? Are there no women left who will love a guy for who he is, and not just because they've grown to respect him as a human being? Can't I find a nice girl who wants to just sit around at my apartment in complete silence?
I really don't think that's too much to non-verbally ask for.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Want your own family portrait? Go to: The Digital Orange
And have yourself a merry little Christmas.
None of them are gay and most of them are available. See me for details...
Friday, December 14, 2007
But now, Columbia University and New York state researchers say waiting too long to have sex may carry its own risks, according to an ABCnews.com report.
People who lose their virginity between the ages of 21 to 23 are more likely to suffer sexual dysfunction problems later in life, according to a study from Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies.
Click here for the ABCnews.com story
The study, which is will appear in the January 2008 issue of the American Journal of Public Health, found that men who lose their virginity in their 20's seemed more likely to have problems becoming sexually aroused and reaching orgasm.
But the researchers pointed out that men who started having sex early were also at an increased risk for sexual dysfunction and said further research is needed to determine if a causal interpretation can be made.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Any other suggestions for a good morning are welcome here! I usually wish I could watch the opening scene from Billy Elliot. I couldn't find the trampoline scene, but I did find this, and it made me smile. A lot.
Almost as much as waking up next to:
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
You wanted relationship issues. And I don't have them, so now I'm asking for yours.
- Breaking up and remaining friends- Do it or don't it?
- Dating for a prolonged period of time- when is so long just TOO long?
- The Lurker- when do you fish or cut bait- and what keeps them coming around?
- Getting stood up: Proper etiquette post-standing.
- He's Just Not That Into You- but...Really?
- He cries, he begs, he doesn't want you to move on- but he's not moving forward, either.
- Selfishness is not a curable disease.
- Hooking up: The Reverb.
Those are my ideas. What are yours? Aaaand- GO!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
You know those little carts designed to carry princesses around in? Get the idea?
My new boyfriend...
Later that night, in Paris: