And by "depressing," I mean, "predictable" and "hilarious."Some responses to the survey:
Wait! Someone is asking me out?
If he walks upright and is breathing, that's a plus.
I don't need him to open the door. I don't need him to pay. But if he'd ask me out, that'd be nice.
If anyone omits, "attractive" from her list, she's kidding herself.
I want to get to know you, not your wallet.
Abs. Just. Abs.
Mostly I'm looking for someone who has money. Lots and lots of money.*
The general consensus was, of course, women want a man to be good. To be good human beings- kind and respectful and decent to us as well as others. Not to text us in the middle of the night for a booty call, or think it's acceptable to be sleazy around some girls who are "cool enough to handle it," and have a double-standard for the girls who are still "innocent." We want to be treated with respect, kindness, and thoughtfulness. The other sad generalized feeling was that, regardless of what men are told, they will continue to behave as they always have. Getting a lecture on dating isn't really going to make them start dating any more than they already are. Knowing women filled out a survey on what we want isn't going to stop men from buying into that "James Dean in a leather jacket driving a racecar" portrayal that women like a bad-boy.**
These responses are funny because none of these women really expect anything to change. Are we getting too smart for courtship? Too cynical? Too good-humored? Are our expectations of men too low? Are our expectations for ourselves too low? And if we're just "over" the idea of courtship, why does it still feel so nice to have someone want to take an hour or two to sit down and get to know us?
* to this woman, I say: Gold Bars NEVER go out of season. NEVER!!!
** I see multiple photos of James Dean playing chess, wearing glasses, and I can pretty much be certain he likes puppies and loves his mother. I love you, James. Call me.
1 comment:
I submit that love lives on. Because at the heart of all romance is friendship. It’s common decency, really. It feels good to be important. Just to know that someone else took an interest in knowing what’s inside. To know that someone else thinks you matter. I don’t’ know that anyone expects romance anymore, but I do think everyone wants someone to care enough about to slow down from our over-stimulated lives; to turn off the IM, put down the phone, and actually have a real, live conversation. And maybe even care enough to care sincerely.
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