Monday, February 8, 2010

Twin Beds = Celibate Men

It's not just true on "I Love Lucy." If a man is sharing a room and sleeping in a twin bed, one things is for certain: That guy is not getting laid.
Katie and I were talking the other night about men and twin beds, and she said, "There are only 3 times when a man should be sleeping in a twin bed and sharing a room. When he's a little boy, when he's on a mission, and when he's in college. But that is it. There is no reason for a man to be 30 and in a twin bed, still sharing a room." To which I proceeded to illustrate that two best friends (men), used to work for the same company, share the same room, and slept in...BUNK BEDS. I won't even get into the matching company cars and sync'd Milli Vanilli soundtracks. In any case, raised eyebrows at work aside, neither one got married until AFTER they'd moved away from each other and got queens. They're now married with kids and definately not gay.
Now, I recognize that (due to a little something called "morality"), NONE of us are getting any. However, the point is, that until you get out on your own, little soldier, and get a bed big enough for the both of us; no self-respecting woman is going to bed with a man who still lives like a boy.

Conclusion: If you are a man and are still sleeping in a twin bed and sharing a room, the chances of you getting a woman in there are about as good as Ricky Ricardo's. And that guy was already married.

7 comments:

naomi said...

i LOVE this post. made me laugh on this monday morning!

Louis Gray said...

I argue for a 4th time:

When the man goes home to visit his parents, who have not changed his room in 20 years. The man and his wife somehow make do. :)

f*bomb. said...

TMI, President. TMI.

(gee, I miss you guys.)

Salt H2O said...

I miss JD and Turk.

cropstar said...

So true, sis. You speak the truth here.

f*bomb. said...

So you maybe noticed this is a reposting. Maybe I was at a party last night and maybe someone knew me because she reads Blogg. And here I thought NO ONE reads Blogg anymore (I mean, I haven't read Blogg since 2007. I certainly can't expect YOU to).
So.
As a commitment to her and anyone else who has read past '07: I apologize. We used to be much more insightful and funny. (Really.)
I'm will be back on track for you, if you promise to let me know your thoughts and give me fodder for fire. This is only fun for me when it's funny to you. In the meanwhile, you might see some oldies but very relevant and pertinent goodies.

No Name said...

I find your post to be really ignorant and shallow. If you judge a man by the kind of bed he sleeps in or his roommate situation then you are really pathetic. Shallow women like you are the reason why I'm celibate. P.S. I'm celibate by CHOICE