Narnia

Happy Holidays.
Sorry I was too wasted on roast duck and mashed potatoes to do anything for Blogg. This should make up for my slack:
http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/videos/SNL-lazy-sunday-narnia.html

I can't wait to have children.

This struck fear into my very heart. If you make it to the very end, I promise you, you will be completely horrified/amused.

This post is dedicated to all my adorable Asian-loving friends and to the ones obsessed with poo (you know who you are). Merry Christmas. Now don't ever ask me to support your values ever again.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Jake.

My offer still stands.
love,
-f.

I Never Talk On The First Date.

I Never Talk On The First Date
By David Alberts
The Onion
(Thanks for the tip, Broek.)

People are so impatient nowadays. Everyone's rushing to find someone, get married, settle down, and have kids. Call me old- fashioned, but I believe in taking things slow. That's why I never talk on the first date. Or on the second or third date, if I can help it.
I know women want it. I can tell by the way they look at me and ask all kinds of questions about where I grew up, what I do for a living, and what books I've read lately. Hell, most women these days expect us to talk on the first date. They think they deserve it, just because I'm dressed a certain way and sitting across from them while they ask me personal questions.
Well excuse me, but I'm just not that kind of guy. You know the type—talkative. Sure, some people can just move from one conversation to the next, or engage in three-way chats on a whim, but I'm not one of them. I can't just dive into an intimate discussion with a complete stranger. I mean, my God, can't we get to know each other a bit before we go straight into the heavy discussion?
I know what you're thinking, but I'm not a prude. I'm not above nodding on a first date, and if I really like someone, giving one-word answers to a variety of questions. On a second date, after a few drinks, I might tell a quick story. But that's where I draw the line. I have standards, and I'm not going to debase myself by flapping my gums for any woman who agrees to go to my office Christmas party at the last minute.
It's not even like I'm saving my talking for marriage. I just don't want to give away all my anecdotes to the wrong person. I respect myself too much to be bullied into talking to a woman before we've gotten the chance to see if we really connect.
I guess that's just how I was raised.
Besides, when you start off a date right away by saying "Hello" and immediately giving her 10 minutes of back-and-forth that shows that you're both intelligent and entertaining, that's all you're ever going to be in her mind: a great talk. A guy she could just call up whenever she feels like it for some no-strings-attached conversation. It's like my father always said: Why buy the cow when you can talk to the cow for free?
Unfortunately, I had to learn my lesson the hard way. There was this girl I really liked a while back, and I wanted to impress her so badly I ended up opening my mouth before we even got our appetizer. I think I had a little too much wine, because I don't even remember what I said, really.
She kept me around for a few months, but she just used me for my intellect and emotions. She wanted to talk all the time, day and night, without any consideration for whether I wanted to or not. Sometimes she wanted to do it as soon as I woke up in the morning. And when I told her I had had enough and that I never wanted to talk to her again, she stopped calling me altogether. Women.
But I'm not going to give up on my dream. Isn't there anyone out there who doesn't have a one-track mind about interpersonal communication? Are there no women left who will love a guy for who he is, and not just because they've grown to respect him as a human being? Can't I find a nice girl who wants to just sit around at my apartment in complete silence?
I really don't think that's too much to non-verbally ask for.

Ho. Ho. Ho. ...Ho?

Talk about a Merry Christmas. Wow. Thanks for the Good Morning wake up call. You just set the bar for my whole day.
Want your own family portrait? Go to: The Digital Orange

And have yourself a merry little Christmas.
PS-
None of them are gay and most of them are available. See me for details...

So f*d.

Having sex at early age has long been linked to a laundry list of health problems from an increased risk of sexual disease to an increased risk of cancer.
But now, Columbia University and New York state researchers say waiting too long to have sex may carry its own risks, according to an ABCnews.com report.
People who lose their virginity between the ages of 21 to 23 are more likely to suffer sexual dysfunction problems later in life, according to a study from Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies.
Click here for the ABCnews.com story
The study, which is will appear in the January 2008 issue of the American Journal of Public Health, found that men who lose their virginity in their 20's seemed more likely to have problems becoming sexually aroused and reaching orgasm.
But the researchers pointed out that men who started having sex early were also at an increased risk for sexual dysfunction and said further research is needed to determine if a causal interpretation can be made.

Good Morning!

Last night, while waiting for my hot cocoa to brew and prep us for a night of boats in lights, I introduced some friends to some of my favourite videos. Turns out, the first five I thought of were Feist's. It must be her firm grasp of whimsey that is so very appealing. But just think how lovely every day would be if your morning started off something like this:

Any other suggestions for a good morning are welcome here! I usually wish I could watch the opening scene from Billy Elliot. I couldn't find the trampoline scene, but I did find this, and it made me smile. A lot.


Almost as much as waking up next to:

Dishing It.

How do we feel about discussing other people's relationship situations? All identifying details of parties involved will, of course, be disguised to shield the embarrassed/embarrassing behavior. It just seems like there are a lot of people going through some very heinous things going on out there, and I'd like to help. And I hope some of you are able to share POSITIVE experiences for us to incorporate into our dating lives, that we might benefit through outside, unbiased opinions on the matter.

You wanted relationship issues. And I don't have them, so now I'm asking for yours.
Par Example:

• Breaking up and remaining friends- Do it or don't it?
• Dating for a prolonged period of time- when is so long just TOO long?
• The Lurker- when do you fish or cut bait- and what keeps them coming around?
• Getting stood up: Proper etiquette post-standing.
• He's Just Not That Into You- but...Really?
• He cries, he begs, he doesn't want you to move on- but he's not moving forward, either.
• Selfishness is not a curable disease.
• Hooking up: The Reverb.

Those are my ideas. What are yours? Aaaand- GO!

Dreams.

You know a great way to get really vivid dreams? Eat before going to bed.
Know a great way to have nightmares? Make sure it's Thai food. But Lime Tostidos and peach-pinapple salsa does the trick, too.
No wonder I have trouble sleeping.

International Birthday

So, for my birthday, I wanted to go International. We started off in India, where these adorable girls danced their little feet off with more grace and style I could ever hope to have.
You know those little carts designed to carry princesses around in? Get the idea?
My new boyfriend...
Later that night, in Paris: