Monday, August 11, 2008

Touch Me.

I understand that most people who send mass emails, holiday texts, and fwds are usually annoying with good intentions. Primarily, the intention is purely to make contact and remind you that you're on their mind. Second to that is the message itself. I do what I can to have patience with these methods, and I am appreciative of the message itself (if it's in regards to something relevant, like a friend's birthday party or upcoming event they want me to attend). E-Communication has become little more than mass-communication, but the intention is the same: it's making contact.

What baffles me is that e-communication rarely achieves the desired effect. Do you ever feel special when you get a mass text? Email? Posting on your Facebook/MySpace wall? Maybe a fleeting moment...but what happens on Friday night, when you're ready to go out? Or Sunday morning, when you're ready to talk about your weekend? Who is really there for you? What kind of difference does it make when one of your 400 MySpace friends actually picks up the phone to ask the simple question: "How are you?"

The reality is that a simple question in person has the power to pull you in from a distant e-friendship to a real, live relationship.

In a world full of mass activities with the chaos of strangers or near-friends, clubs with hundreds of sweaty bodies, too loud and crowded to hear a name, and nightly opportunities for dessert-parties, game nights, and FHEs, how much more does it mean when someone takes the time to reach out and spend five minutes- FIVE MINUTES- hearing your opinion on the latest film, or asking about your latest adventure.

And then, when we move into the realm of relationships, how much more meaningful has it become to be with someone who won't simply text you goodnight, but will actually make their way over to your house to give you a proper send-off to sleep (or maybe wear you out a little so sleep comes a bit better). Time after time I hear stories of confusion or complaint because someone texted someone and didn't hear back or the ball got dropped somewhere along the e-line and one knows where they stand or what they should do. Dear man-reader, I am going to give you a tip: Women LOVE real contact. They salivate for it. And particularly at a time when our world is inundated with e-messages, the man who takes the time to make a phone call, cross the room, or look us in the eye for longer than 5 minutes is considered a higher class of being. By demonstrating real effort to make real contact, you are, essentially, a Real Man.

For all the fantasies that are out there, every woman would rather have a real man to hold over one who is merely dropping by a, "Whatz up 2nite?" weak-@$$ text.


Silvs said...

Amen. It's funny that you've already posted this because I was going to get to this same topic on my blog, but I was thinking about this same thing last night while I was driving home afer visiting some friends of mine up in LA. I was thinking how lame it is that relationships become dilapidated just because we don't have the wherewithal to pick up a phone or just drop by a person's house and make an actual visit. That's all it really takes, and of course, texts don't count. So true, though. We need to make it personal, i.e. connection needs to be done in person.

Tannerama said...

Ladies. Don't answer texts. If someone sends you a text and you might be interested in them. Text them this response: Why don't you call me and we'll talk about it?

It's flirty, shows that you are interested in him and it gets you that contact that you want. And it gets the guy out of his comfort zone and makes him talk to you.

Here's a tip: put a pinch of sage in your boots, and all day long a spicy scent is your reward!

f*bomb. said...

I love advice from Tanner. It's my fave.

Silvs, I'm glad you appreciate it, because I feel like this is a topic I rant and rave on every few weeks (and in the live it's more like every few days). I love technology...well- no- I really don't. I would just prefer to use technology over having the system use ME.

Dainon. said...

Just so's you know, men aren't always the ones committing these texting sins. I know several women who do it as well, much MUCH more than myself. It pretty much drives me batty. I simply refuse to carry on a conversation that would work out so much better face-to-face or, barring that, over the tellyphone. So you're definitely on the right track here, yes, but it does go both ways.