He: You need to be more feminine. A man likes to be around a woman who is, well; a little more vulnerable. He wants to know that you need him.
Me: But do I need a man?
He: (laughing) That's a very good question.
So is that what I'm to believe? Is my femininity determined by someone else's masculinity? In which case, why should I be expected to lower my abilities in order to allow someone else to supersede my own virtues? Isn't it fair to say, if my femininity is so important, that it's okay for me to expect someone to be more "masculine"- more independent, more self-sufficient, more caring, more compassionate, more intelligent, more successful, more outgoing, more capable than I am at my best?
This isn't the first time I've been warned about being "too independent." It was, however, the first time it was point-blank suggested to me that I act as though I weren't. I'm not into deception. I don't manipulate, hide, or pretend. It's just too much effort. And I consider it lying. Another thing I don't advocate; not even in the slightest. But maybe it's time to humble myself and fact the facts; men don't like a woman who is too independent. Now, I've been 100% on my own and responsible for myself (and at times, others) since I was 16. So we're kidding ourselves to think I can't do this on my own. The real question is, to me...Do I WANT to do this all on my own? No. I don't. *
I don't need someone to coddle me, pacify me, or provide for me. I don't need someone to depend upon financially, emotionally, socially, or even psychologically. But do I want to give everything that I am to better someone else's life; and thereby raise a good family? Do I want to work with someone else toward a common goal and accomplish a life that is greater outside myself? Do I want to understand what it's like to be willing to sacrifice everything for someone else's sake? To truly understand what real, eternal, Christlike love is? Absolutely.
So may I ask a favor of you all? May I ask that, ladies, you not pretend to be less than you are to find acceptance, and gentlemen, that you not require us to. I think we'll all be more fulfilled in the end by recognizing ourselves as complete persons who are not so much made whole by another, but made stronger and better than we were on our own.
* You'll have to forgive the video. It was just too funny for me to resist. And somehow, I completely relate to her...The lyrics to the song are actually quite good...