Holy crap, guys!
That was the LONGEST f*ing article I've ever had to plow through IN MY LIFE. I swear to never ever subject you to something like that load of horsepucky ever again. I think I may have gone blind in-between the moments where I slipped into a coma trying to read something I posted on my own blog. That may have been the most depressing and atrocious excuse for marriage I have ever heard (next to marrying for money over attraction). What is this? 1952? What? All of a sudden, as a woman with a career and a brain and ambition, I no longer have options?!?!
Settle? HELL's NO!
Now that THAT is off my chest, here is my justification:
I should probably begin by saying that my 'standards' (ahem), are not so high. Meaning, I've never had a "type." No height requirement (it's pretty hard to find someone shorter than me in general), no "look"- in fact, I've been accused by my own mother of being attracted to 'ugly' men (her words, not mine). I could care less if he had style or not- but if he takes longer to get ready than me, it's a seriously furrowed brow item. I find there to be a drastic difference between "attractive" and "attractED." And that the qualities an individual possesses- whether it is intelligence or some esoteric passion for art or music or business even (sigh) sports, most people have something quirky and interesting about them that sets them apart and makes them special. And when I find myself attracted to the man who is worthy of giving me a blessing or who is willing to sit still and be alone with me when all I need is a shoulder to nestle in or someone who is thoughtful and insightful, I am just thankful to be blessed enough to know people I admire and respect so much as to trust them with myself. And recognizing those qualities- the ones which compose us as individuals (not as chattel or manufactured products to fit an image, as our society would have us feel) is usually what makes me find appreciation and thereby attraction to an individual.
On the flip side, I don't think it's necessary to budge on my standards of living. Meaning, I am willing to live my life according to certain principles of kindness, consideration and I appreciate intelligence, humor, and a certain level of adventure- and whatever I am prepared to live (or sacrifice), I would expect it's possible for a man to do the same. And no- I don't think it's asking too much in expecting someone else to be willing to do anything I am able to do. Do I expect him to sacrifice everything to make gobs of money? Well...I haven't found that to be a motivating factor to do so myself, so...No. Do I expect him to do everything within his power to live righteously and serve faithfully according to his level of understanding in the gospel? Well...I am striving to continually learn and grow according to my faith. Is it so much to expect a man that would be making the efforts to do the same?
We're all on different timetables, with different experiences and varying degrees of understanding. But that doesn't mean we can't have similar directions and expectations for how we want to live our lives! As entertaining as it may be to complain or bemoan the state of single life, the reality is, we choose to be single. We choose to live the life we're leading because (hopefully) we're consistently making choices for the greater good and for longstanding joy. Find faith in this experience- please- I'm begging you- and stop saying it's because of someone else that you're in this mess. Empower yourself by taking accountability and responsibility for who you are and what you're doing today. Now. And if you don't like what you see, change it. Because, in the end, single or otherwise, the only person who can make you happy with who you are, is you.