A guy recently asked me what kind of man was I interested in. I said, "Not anything grand- I don't really have a type or look; just a good guy who is kind that I could have an intelligent conversation with and still laugh a lot." He looked at me and goes, "So- basically the whole package...That's going to be hard to find."
Talk about a bleak outlook.
Do you really think it's expecting too much? It seemed a reasonable set of expectations to me at the time, but what do I know? What does it really take to go from being attracted to someone to dating them?
Ladies: a survey to lend some clarity.
Men: because we're just so darn curious!
Feel free to add what "other" is on the comments section. It's all anonymous, so vote away!
Like Dr Laura, but with a beat you can dance to.
f*bomb.
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14 comments:
Just for the record: I was trying to see what guys voted for, so the "hot" vote came from me.
Guys, I want you to succeed...I'll be wing woman.
Also for the record I voted for "Cuz she's hilarious". That'll get you a date right away from me.
I'm having a hard time dealing with the results of the ladies' poll. Is initiative really all we have going for us guys?
"All things being equal," as in, "we're assuming you're not a creepy jerkface;" the answer is
YES, Brent.
YES.
Two guys voted for "other" when I thought that they could input their own category; I removed it so we could be more specific. My apologies to those who voted but don't have it recorded anymore. Feel free to elaborate in the Opinions! section...
Well, I'm either a) more honest than 5 other guys, or b) shallower than 5 other guys, b/c I'm the other one that voted for "she's really hot."
Of the characteristics listed in this poll, being hot is the only characteristic that has ever been a stand-alone reason for why I asked a girl out. I can't say that for any of the others. (I've only done that a couple of times, all of which were in my earlier years, and all of which were invariably horrible dates, if you're curious.)
So like I said, I'm either more honest, or more shallow than the people answering the poll.
I am with you on this one Dally Llama. You can call me shallow too, but she has to be attractive in order to pique my interest in asking her out. After you go out with her and find out that she is brilliant, hilarious etc....well that's just the icing on the cake that keeps you coming back for more.
No- that's totally cool- be honest!
Here's my other question for you:
If it's not intelligence, humor, kindness or hotness (all things being equal)-
What is that one thing that takes her from being someone you notice to being someone you want to KNOW?
That would have to be the X factor. Definitely the X factor. I can't put my finger on exactly what that is for me, but when I see it, I know it within a few minutes, usually. It's probably a combination of intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, dignity, and low craziness quotient, but I'm not really sure. In other words, off the top of my head, I can't think of a good answer, so I'm punting by using a trite and largely meaningless cliche.
But attraction pretty much has to be there in the first instance. If it's not, the chances of me asking a girl out are not good. -Which isn't to say that I won't. But the odds of me doing so are low. I think I'm speaking for basically all guys when I say that, too.
To flip to the other side of the coin, I should mention that the characteristic that is an ABSOLUTE deal breaker for me is a girl who is controlling, condescending, and/or smug toward guys. I know a few girls that do this (even though they don't realize they're doing it), and it makes me want to pull my hair out. As soon as I see/hear that, GAME OVER. Period.
-That's a really vague description, and doesn't explain what I have in my mind very well, but it would be hard to explain it right without writing a really long post.
Well the "hot" one does make sense. Especially if they're doing the asking out. Being attracted to someone is more than usual the 1st "instigater." Then it can up or downhill from there. There needs to be a foundation behind those looks (goes for both in my opinion).
Hey, I believe this poll is biased because it is presented on Farrah's blog. Men who read Farrah's blog are obviously intrigued by Farrah to some degree. Since Farrah happens to be a 'brilliant' person, most guys that vote here are going to be favoring the 'brilliant' bias. See what I'm saying...
Wow. Wade? I'm not sure who you are, but clearly you have never met me. Men who meet me are usually most intrigued because I have an incredible rack. It's the people who haven't met me yet that think I'm smart.
And, for the record, my male readers really ARE that impressive. I don't know how much it has to do with me, but if you'll continue to read their opinions, you'll see that the vast majority of men who participate on Blogg are insightful, whip-smart, funny, and very, very attractive.
I was looking at the poll results and saw that a few females had voted "because he asked me out." This got me to thinking. Do you feel that women are obligated to go out with a guy because he asked?
I know some people who have a "one date rule" where they go out with anyone who asks, at least once. I'm not sure if I could adopt this rule. Can't I trust my gut and know that I already know it wouldn't work out? And just avoid any awkwardness that could ensue? Assuming i'm going out just to be polite. Wouldn't a guy rather know right away that you're not interested? I just feel like going out with someone you know you're not interested in (and are 99.999% sure you won't ever be) is just prolonging the inevitable and does a disservice.
Yeah- I agree. I definately lack the ability (or the desire) to fake anything pretty much ever; HOWEVER-
You seriously know people you are not even remotely interested in getting to know better or have a good night out to better appreciate another human being THAT much? Trust me, I know plenty of people who don't have chemistry with me enough to make babies, let alone make a summer fling, but I have never regretted spending two hours getting to know someone better.
Now, if it's a situation where the guy is a creep/pervert/serial killer and you already know it- don't even begin to indulge his ego by some "consolation date." But to assume you already know someone enough to know they're going to suck for 2 hours? That seems a little short-sighted...
I may be the first and last to comment on this but...
"It's probably a combination of intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, dignity, and low craziness quotient, but I'm not really sure."
-Dally Llama comment
I think if he's looking for all this, which is completely relative, you're not completely off base in asking for the "whole package". And that guy wanted the first trait to be "hot". So I'd say men are looking for more than women. Not to be smug or condescending - just trying to point out we're all a little picky, hence single.
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