Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Hi, Cupcake!

So I've been on this cupcake kick lately- it's true. I've always liked them, but now I'm into actually baking them. (CeeKay would be so proud.) It began by wanting to thank my friends for their help with packing and moving, and it's a luxury to be cooking and baking again, so I'm doing it every chance I can get. It should be noted that it's been approximately 4.8 years since I baked anything. It's been about 3 months since I cooked anything besides frozen burritos (if microwaving can count as "cooking" and Trader Joe's banana bread mix counts as "baking.") Okay. Maybe I'm just better at "mixing and reheating." Point being, I've eaten approximately 4 cupcakes a day for the last 2 weeks, and I can no longer fit into my jeans. How can it be that something so tiny, so delicious, so perfectly fit within the palms of my little hand and so perfectly balanced by chocolate frosting to banana cake (or lemon cake) that it would actually begin to affect my body?!?

I like to brag whenever I can, so I'll spill it here (in case you haven't gotten a call or a demonstration as to how much I'd like you to start taking PowerLift with me at the gym). Well, my lift instructor has been lecturing us on nutrition during our sessions lately. She asked last week if anyone had eaten breakfast. I asked if a cupcake counts. Somehow, that was the wrong thing to say in a lift class. She proceeded to push us on eating an hour before class and eat a high amount of protein within a half hour after the class. The next time, I am prepared. I eat a protein bar before class and have plenty of water. The alternate instructor was more of a cheerleader on crack, so I left early, disappointed all my nutritional preparedness had gone to waste. This morning, the banana chocolate cupcakes were on the counter- isn't it better to shove one in rather than go without? I ran after the instructor and my favourite hot-mom-lift buddy from class. Here's the conversation immediately following our session together:

Me: Thank you so much for your class! I'm sad to be leaving since I'm moving to LA this weekend.*
Instructor: You'll have to come visit for the Saturday classes!
Me: Well- you've taught me so much and I just want to thank you.
Instructor: Aren't you cupcakes?

Me: uh...Yeah. That's me.
Instructor: Well- you're still young.
HotMom: I'm working off the wine.
Me: Well- I don't drink, so that's gotta balance out, right?
HotMom: Have 3 kids and trust me- you will.
Instructor: (nods knowingly)
Me:(hopeful) And at least cupcakes have nutritional value!
Instructor: Sure! Fat and sugar!
Me: They're banana! That's fruit! And I put apple-peach sauce in, instead of oil, so that's good, right?
Instructor: Do you even know how much sugar that adds?!?!
Me: (blank) Sugar?
Hot Mom: You can mix in nuts or cranberries and sometimes I'll add raisins, too!
Me: (excited) O- yes! I added chocolate chips!
(I thought their eyes were going to burn holes in my face.)
They: It's a good thing you're young.
Me: O! But what about the coconut I put on top!?!

I guess that wasn't the right way to end my "thanks for teaching me so much about being healthy" speech, and it certainly burst my bubble about how lovely my little cupcakes of death were. If you get a plate on your doorstep, please don't think I'm trying to bring about your own can't-fit-your-pants dilemma...They're meant as a compliment. But. Despite what these women might say- chances are high I'll eat them all before they have a chance to share my appreciation for you. Just know that, if you see me waddling around the gym, it's just the effects of my gratitude for you.

*Let me know if you would like to help me move this Saturday- there might be a cupcake or two involved...


caroline said...

you are right, i am proud. and i give away most of my baked goods, too. it's the only way i will continue to fit in my jeans. and i really love my jeans.

Jillian said...

I've slid from jeans to dresses. I think from here it's a short hop to muumuu's. I am worried.

I'll commit to a change sometime soon, but before that,

Who doesn't like a good cupcake challenge?

f*bomb. said...

O my goodness...
You devil woman!!!