Monday, January 7, 2008

Crazy Asians

So, it's not that I'm a traitor to my race or anything, but why do people think that I would be "perfect" with (insert Asian man here)? It's never, "he's so funny," or, "you'd really get along well," or, "he's super into music," or, "he's really into musicals"...Sooo many qualities to choose from, people. Pick a personality trait. But what do I get?

"I know who'd be good for you!"

Awesome! What's he like?

"Well, I think he's Korean. Or maybe Chinese. Or from Hawaii or something..."

Um....Hawaii...That's cool. What's he like?

"Well, I think he's, like, some kind of Asian or something."

I've had this conversation, nearly verbatim, for the last 12 years. I realize the physical may be something difficult to see beyond, but can someone please set me up with somebody who'd be good with my personality instead of operating purely off my genetics?

Here's a word of advice: While matching up your friends is a really nice gesture, and I really do wish people would do it more, I somehow don't buy into the fact that physical similarities are the best route for forming a relationship. Or, more specifically, based on race alone. Trust me. Imagine the random associate from work saying, "Oh. You're Mormon? I know a Mormon. You should go out with him," and magnify your emotional response by 17. Here is how it ends up:

"You Philippina?"

No.

"You LOOK Philippina."

I'm not.

"Are you sure? I know Philippinos and you LOOK exactly like them!"

Well, I'm Chinese and Korean.

"You're not Chinese."

Yes. I am.

"You don't look like it."

Okay. Fine. I'm black.

Not only does this conversation happen more often than I'd like (anytime I meet a returned-missionary from -insert Asian country here-) and I know it's just people trying to be culturally sensitive and "aware," but let me tell you right now, folks. Don't. Please. Just don't argue with someone about their race. It's so tacky. And really embarrassing. For YOU. The likelyhood that you are a racist is slim, but I say this on behalf of all my brothers and sisters of colour who may also be tired of living in a world that professes to be colour-blind, but makes things worse by asserting they are culturally astute when they're not.

10 comments:

j-mo said...

That is funny and also sad. (funny because you're funny) That sort of happened to me once. Random people in my BYU ward pressured me to go out with a guy because, as they told me, "you'd have beautiful children!" I was told this several times. Please stop picturing me and random guy in the ward having sex and having babies. I don't know you that well, and it makes me uncomfortable. Good times. :)

veeda said...

Oh Farrah, amen!

I've had many experiences with this too, but my favorite was when one of my roommate's mom told her daughter she had a perfect guy for me in her home ward.

Now, she's never met me, but she knew I was Asian. So naturally I would be ideal with the exchange student from Hong Kong.

Bless her heart.

Hadz said...

I live on a whole Island full of hundredes of people that I could totally set you up with. ;) You're Asian...they're Asian. How perfect!

Tannerama said...

Why don't you spell color right? What are you from Canada? Is grey your favourite colour?

Salt H2O said...

Farrah, that's really funny- not to laugh at your expense but seriously.

True story- my friendJina got a phone call once at BYU that went like this:
"Is this Jina Shin?"
"Yes it is"
"Are you single?"
"Why?"
"Well, I see that your last name is Shin, my name is Brian and I just got home from my mission in Korea, and I'd really like to date a Korean girl"
*click*

f*bomb. said...

I think I dated that guy...

julia said...

YES! we used to be scared of all the korean rm's who wanted the benefits of dating the korean-american so they could retain the food and culture but have the benefits of american hygiene. scary.

and then there was the korean (from korea) guy at church in sf. each time we talked, it ALWAYS had to be about korea. what is that all about? 'so, where is your family from again? how often do you visit?' not once anything about my job, hobbies, favorite dessert...

uggh!

f*bomb. said...

I went out with a guy who served his mission in Japan.
ONCE.
All night long, all his friends kept asking if I was Japanese, if we met in Japan, if I served a mission in Japan, if I took Japanese classes...
How many times do I have to say, "My last name is WALKER."

f*bomb. said...

J-Mo.
You are funny. Welcome, welcome.

Naco said...

Ha, ha, the best is when I get "Aloha"...uh, sure, right backatch!