Happy Thanksgiving.

Or in, in my case- ALWAYS GO FOR SECONDS.

If you only knew how many women tell me that I liberate them through food, either by out-consuming them (thus obliterating guilt), or by my outstanding capacity for marathon-eating (freeing them up to enjoy their own meal), or by my outward appreciation of all edible delights (thus, teaching women to always take dessert), I am a free'r of women! A champion of food! At the very least, I am always dependable as a trash-compactor, freeing my lady-friends of any temptations or leftovers.

TRUST ME. This is my role. I do it well. And I serve with honour.

I eat because I can. It's available to me, and I am in a small portion of the world that has more than an adequate portion; unlike most of the world, we have the potential to over-consume. Isn't that a decadent thing to know? How can we throw out perfectly good food, when we know that merely yards away, there are people who have nothing but the clothes on their back, let alone a meal in their belly.

So I eat for the good of society.
I eat for the good of the world.
I eat for the benefit of others.
It's charity, really.

Go for it. For the good of those around you. Liberate yourself and liberate us all. Lie about your weight- in the excess. It's ridiculous that thinness and self-esteem have become interdependent of each other. And who is holding up this standard of starvation as desirable? I'll give you a hint; it isn't in the scriptures. So I say, give the world the finger and do what you want to do. Go for seconds. It isn't everybody who gets to be a part of the world of excess. Be thankful for what you've have. And to those of you who look at you with abhorrence, smile back with brownies in your teeth.