Thursday, November 8, 2007

Older Men.

Consistently I hear women 25-30something complaining about LDS men in the singles department. And I hear the same two solutions offered each time: Date a non-member. Date an older man. I get why these women think an older man is the solution. He's, well...older. Thus lending more "experience" in ways of wooing as well as- everything else that may go along with the wooing part. Plus, he's usually got more stability- career, emotionally, financially, etc. Now, it's common knowledge I don't date men over the age of 25. It's not really a rule, per se, I've just never done it.*

Here's the thing with dating older men.

I just always end up thinking, "What if he'd rather be with my mom?"

She's superhot, and she's pretty young...I mean, that's not far-fetched, really. So I always take the precaution to date men who are at least several years younger than myself. And, of course, none of them are ever over the age of 25.

Don't even ask me about the 55 year-old man my mom tried setting me up with. When I asked her why SHE didn't just date him, she responded, "Well- he's just so much more your type! He's really smart and he's very cultured- he's just not really my style. But he'd be perfect for you!" um, thanks, Mom. And the sad part is, when he kept calling me, my actual thought process was as follows:
"Well, I'm not dating anyone right now...And he DOES like the international cinema (I can never seem to get anyone to read subtitles with me). And I DO like a good lecture (he was a professor for awhile and still attends certain lecture nights, which sounded fabulous). And he IS really intelligent...."

But, ultimately, unless it's this guy- I really don't care:

OR this one:

Any others with fleeting thoughts of desperation? I'm dying to know. That way I'm not the only one with family members who have a perversity for selling out their daughters to wildly inappropriate men. Being single isn't so bad. And your options can always get worse. There's a bit of consolation in knowing that...I'd rather be alone and have my dignity and practice the fine art of patience and faith, then sell out for a man who drives a nice car and has a daughter older than me.

* That's not entirely true...I have dated someone older once and one time I went out with someone older a couple of times, but that's a whole new story of hilarity to be shared at another date. I mean, time.


Salt H2O said...

How old is old? Is 55 too old but 52 ok? 40 too old but 39 ok? we need some parameters here.

f*bomb. said...

Like I said, 25 is about my limit. It's not a hard and fast rule- it's just what happens. And it's not like I go around asking people their age before we start getting involved...It's just that 22-25 age bracket is quite fond of me and I mesh well with them. Maybe it has something to do with them not being easily intimidated or (because we're in such different life-places) they don't feel like we're in competition, but guys who are my age-ish just aren't interested (or gutsy enough) to actually flat-out pursue me.

I have gone out with men in their 30s a few times, and it was really weird. They were either less mature than I expected or they treated me like I could (should?) just get plugged into their life as "young, hot girlfriend here." Which is not a very appealing way to be treated.

f*bomb. said...

Of course, now, I have a physical therapist (37, triathelete, Christian) my coworker wants to set me up with, and an ortho doc (superhot, non-drinker) my OTHER coworker wants me to go out with, and a 34 year old DPM that one of the doctors I work with wants me to track down and marry (the DPM is actually LDS, but he is likely married by now).

How I can be surrounded by LDS singles my own age(ish) but only have offers from friends outside my faith is beyond me. But I know y'all can feel me on that one.
And I know Rudy's going to have soemthing to say here...Just wait for it.

Salt H2O said...

The answer to your last question is simple: Men that aren't LDS look as a date as just that- A DATE, an opportunity to enjoy another person's company. LDS men look at a date as an audition.

Non-members think there might be something more to this person, so let's ask them out to get to know them better. Members think there might be something more to this person, but there might also be something more to her roomates, so I have to hang out with all of them until I qualify which one is the the one with the most potential, and after that I can ask one of them out on an audition.

Tanner said...

I like how your pictures of "older men" are pictures of them when they were "younger men"

k8 said...

"Members think there might be something more to this person, but there might also be something more to her roomates, so I have to hang out with all of them until I qualify which one is the the one with the most potential, and after that I can ask one of them out on an audition."

so funny/sad/true

chloe elizabeth said...

And, I would add, I think non-members appreciate how great we are as women. We generally have morals, are accomplished, and have a pretty good sense of who we are. Not that other women don't (they definitely do), but LDS guys, I think, tend to think we are a dime a dozen, so pick the one that "fits" the mold they have created.

I'm totally stereotyping right now, btw.

Rudie can't fail said...

Why yes, I do have something to say. First of all, this 34 y/o guy you are supposed to track down is a podiatrist!? This is the guy you thought was me? You thought I am a podiatrist!?! Oh wow. That will give me a complex worse than the "34 single Mormon guy" business. It's better than a chiropractor, but still...

Dating doctors/health professionals is a tricky business. Perhaps I need to provide you ladies with a primer. That will take some time and thought, though. Not all doctors are the same, and, of course, doctors in some specialties are much more desirable than others. At the top of the food chain are radiologists (cough, cough, *wave* cough) and urologists. Ortho guys tend to be aggressive take control types, but are usually genuinely nice guys. (Bone and joint imaging is my sub-specialty, so I work with these guys a lot.) If you want to audition for this guy, I find that acceptable.

The physical therapist is trickier. He is motivated if he is a triathelete, but then why isn't he an orthopedic surgeon if he likes athletics and medicine. This can be for both acceptable and unacceptable reasons, and I'd need more info to render judgment.

I'd pass on the foot guy, unless you have really bad corns.

Tannerama said...

Chloe... ouch.

Liz said...

I love your comment "practice the fine art of patience and faith." You're awesome. I think those are fine arts we could/should all have PhDs in by the time we're done with this life, no?

f*bomb. said...

Mostly, I just love YOU.

Broek said...

I've always been one to go younger over older when it comes to LDS men.

Of course this is coming from a girl whose current boyfriend is a 37 year old non LDS fellow. So take that for what it's worth. =)

f*bomb. said...

Yeah, Broek, but he's freaking KING OF THE DESERT, so who cares?!?! Your dude is HOT. Hot like molten LAVA flowing from the jungles of GUATEMALA. And clearly he has the refined taste and respect for a chick as classy as yourself. So. Kudos to HIM for not being short-sighted.

Treasure said...

Go for someone, say...9 years younger that you're bigger than and almost taller than. That's the cake! Oh, and Heather's mom said in reference to older men, "When they've been sittin' on the shelf for too long, they're bound to gather dust."

f*bomb. said...

Ah, you ARE a Treasure. I miss your guts.
Rock that cradle of LOVE!