Everything That is Wrong With Our Society Today.

Liquorhouse Girls (and all other guilty parties): This is for you.

Self-Respect went out the window with Reality Television. Competitions like this embarass me (and I am never embarassed), because they all combine the following elements:

• Imaginary Competition: We can all call it right off the bat- 92% of the people on these shows will never be anyone's Idol, Bachelorette, or Ms Anything- so please, spare us the sordid details of "auditioning" yourself, and just go home with some slight shred of dignity while the people who might actually make something of themselves develop.
• Crying in Public is bad enough- but come on, hunny. This is National TV. Please. Just. Don't. It won't win you votes, sympathy, or a man, so please. Suck it up and pull yourself together.
• Completely Unrealistic Situations. I hate to tell you this, but- that's not his castle, the judges are kind to even acknowledge you exist, and your performance will be manipulated by a producer anyway- because, well- you're just manufactured by the editors.
• Insecurity and Ingratitude. Don't let people judge you. Who is anyone to judge you anyway? Don't pander. And don't whine. And don't bother backstabbing to get ahead. We can all see you. If anything, you are having experiences and opportunities that would otherwise NOT EXIST for you. So enjoy the ride for what it is, and shut your whiney trap, because no one really gives a damn anyway.
• Manufactured Celebrityism. My loathing for this disturbing trend of "Celebrityism" is a whole 'nother topic. Suffice to say: Being on TV does not make you talented, special, OR important. It makes you a gimmick for ratings. You should be more. We should all be more.

Note: A television show does NOT make or break you. If you want it so badly that you're willing to display all of the above, maybe you should go out and pursue your dream- not depend upon a network to tell you if you're valuable/likeable/beautiful/talented. At least now you know what you want to do. And that's more than most people can say! Now go out and be a productive member of society and contribute something and leave your mark by making a difference, for heaven's sake. Because quite frankly, I've forgotten who you are already.

*Whatever happened to good writing with compelling storylines and talented actors? Wasn't that writing strike that sprouted the Reality TV series over with by 1998? Because I'll tell you this, Network TV People: If I wanted reality, I wouldn't be watching television. I'm open to Worst Moments of Reality TV and Things Worth Watching That Won't Completely Infuriate Me By Being A Vapid Wast of My Precious Space on TiVo.