I am often labeled as "commitment-phobic." Mostly by my girlfriends and men I won't go out with more than twice. Either way, the term bothers me. I get this accusation because I ENCOURAGE men to go out with other women, and am pleased to find out the man I'm seeing is dating (or has dated) women I respect and admire. I figure it says a lot about his character and his mature choice to be with quality women. Bonus.
That being said, I think INTENT is the real culprit. We SHOULD "date around" out of a respect for one another, and desire to know and appreciate and genuinely get to know value the people around you. Let's just keep the love you make equal to the love you take. ie: You don't need to call her day and night and dominate her week if your intent is not to be a serious part of her life. Don't IM her and text for 5-8 hours a day and then say that you want to "keep things light." Don't make out with someone you don't really intend to see the next day, and don't feel that you need to make promises you don't intend to keep. Most women are pretty happy just going out and having a good time and getting to know you- you need not worry that we become basketcases just because the last girl you dated was a Stage 3 Clinger.
Keep in mind that the reason most women behave inconsistantly is because the man they are with has begun treating them inconsistantly. She probably wouldn't pester you so much to define things if you had given her the reassurance that you do respect her, appreciate her, and genuinely care for her by treating her with a consistant message. Whether that message is, "I'm just not that into you" because you only go out once every few weeks, or "I am so intense on you that I'm not interested in anyone else" because you are texting, calling, IMing constantly and hanging around every night, or "I like you enough to keep seeing you, and let's get to know each other" by planning in advance and asking her out once a week or so- YOU are the one sending the message on what expectations we should have of you.
Now I will be the first to admit, I will always try the sample-cup before making a triple-combo with brownie mix-ins at the Golden Spoon. Literally and figuratively. But I know what I'm there for. Unfortunately, some people are just fat kids in a pastry shop, sticking their fingers willy-nilly in the frosting and sampling all the flavors with no intent to purchase anything.
And fat kids. Man, I really hate them.
11 comments:
now i really want cupcakes. and it's NINE THIRTY IN THE MORNING. you are in trub, farrah.
ps- how's my girl feeling?
Gosh, I really want cupcakes too. Did you make those yourself?
Are you even kidding me?
I couldn't even dream those up! Last time I attempted baked goods, they were eaten before getting out of the pan!
farrah you can't post cupcakes if you really want me to read any of the words surrounding them.
i will blame you when i find myself at Sprinkles in the morning.
i fear you are all missing the point.
i think your fear is justified. the point was totally missed by one and all commenters. but you have to admit, those cupcakes look damn tasty.
Thanks for bringing it back around, Glass. And wouldn't you say that- even though all those cupcakes look tasty, you would NEVER be the sort to sample each one on every plate, leaving nothing but shreds of crumbs behind? That YOU would consider each carefully, omitting the flavours you know you won't want and choose to set aside only the ones you actually would eat? Thus leaving cupcakes in a desirable state for someone who DOES like snickers in their frosting, while you choose the ones with the sprinkles?
It's like you're living inside my head. You know how I feel about guys, and on top of it, you know how much i freakin love cake.
well i have to admit i'd behave differently if we're talking about the metaphorical cupcakes, the one's representing people, than the kind that are tasty birthday treats.
and no, i don't ever mess up the frosting. if anything, the cupcake is better off than when i found it. if you don't believe me, survey their husbands.
oooh! SNAP! And a Smokey-The-Bear reference, too? You just get better and better*, don't you Professor?
*and by "better," I mean "SWEETER." See how good an analogy this is? Do you see?!?!
You know my friend Veeda??? She commented on your tasty cupcakes in your fat kid blog. So small this world is. And yeah, hope everythings going well in your head. *muah*
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