Saturday, April 21, 2007

Stupid Diseases and Other Ills.

So you all know I have an issue with my equalibrium. I say I spent most of last week laughing because I thought, "of all the things to happen, just falling over has got to be one of the stupidist illnesses EVER." Or at least the most embarassing. But then I remembered these real diseases and felt less bad about my own:
  • Narcolepsy. You just. Fall asleep. Whenever. Wherever. I think I'm partially narcoleptic because this seems to happen every time I get in the backseat of a car or take public transport. ANY kind of public transport. This means I travel GREAT.* Personally, I call that a GIFT.
  • Tourette's Syndrome. Danny, in Jerusalem, was usually offensive (but funny, so we liked him). He used to brag that he always spoke his mind, with no filter, and just anything he was thinking just came out of his mouth. He said it was being honest. I said it was called "Tourettes."
  • The Hanta Virus.** It's real. And it kills. Quickly. But you know what? You get it from breathing in dust from mouse poop. Seriously.

There have got to be more. And they must be worse than just falling over like a 2 year old trying to stand for the first time. Right? Go ahead. Make me feel better.
* Boston- I'm coming for YOU.
** Corbettron- that one's for you. Thanks.


f*bomb. said...

There is NO TUMOR or MS, so that is GOOD. My brain is still smaller than I'd like, but cute. And I am still on meds for the dizzies and, despite Brandon's encouragement to use it to my advantage, I have no men to fall upon while I'm out here in Cape Cod.

I did, however, have a plate made entirely of fried foods for breakfast. (Fried fish, french fries, and poppers- fried dough.)
I love Cape Cod.

Vanilla Vice said...

For a moment I thought you had syphillis and your brain was turning to mush. Tom thought it was Mad Cow. Different diseases. Same results.

tb said...

And you can get both of them from eating unclean meat.


The Dally Llama said...

There's always scabies. I'm not really sure what it is, but it sounds really nasty.

f*bomb. said...

I had a roommate who had scabies. She had to use a special shampoo...It's basically really icky flakes. We had a dog who got them when she got wicked old, too. Sad. And yes. Embarassing and lame.

It could not be anything from red meat- I don't partake, remember? (UNLESS it is Father's Office, but that's only once a year, really.)

tb said...

I've told you all my story about the girl with the crab in her eye. I think that made her dizzy too.