Saturday, April 14, 2007

Fall Down, Go Boom.

I'm posting this so that the lovely people who care and who have been calling with concern get the full story on what's been happening with me. I would like to note that I am not sick, I am never sick, and if I or anyone else I know is even mildly ill, this Asian farmgirl will cure it with one of five things:
Bag Balm
Tiger Balm
Duct Tape
Those little green pills I get from Chinatown that I don't know what they are exactly because it's all written in Chinese...but they definitely work.

While I am not ill, I did have an incident recently. Water got in my ear and it bothered me for a couple of days (like when you go on a plane and your ears don't pop), progressing to a slightly annoying echo/ringing. Thursday I woke up and just fell over. Equalibrium has always been a struggle. The dizziness didn't go away, so I was advised to see a specialist and not drive (thanks for looking out for me, guys). I spent most of Thursday laughing about what a stupid illness it was to have equalibrium issues and trying to find a ride to the doctor's.

(This is a picture of the last time I was "sick." Up until I lost it, this trip was pure bliss. And I don't count it as being sick, since no one warned me that a quart of guava juice is "too acidic" for sailing. Sorry about the mess, boys. But now we know. Now we all know.)

Dr C checked everything out, and did NOT (as I thought) need to "drain me." In fact, he sees NOTHING wrong, so he thinks it may be nerve damage. Apparently the teeny-tiny nerves in our eardrums can just sieze and pop for no good reason, causing damage to hearing, possible permanant hearing loss, and lack of balance (leading to headaches and this weird seasick feeling I have been growing ever so fond of). When he said "permanant damage," the tears just started. I grabbed his arm and plead, "Please. Music is REALLY important to me. (sniffle.) Music is just a REALLY big part of my life. (tear.) I NEED my hearing to be PERFECT." (Note that he said, "damage," not "deafness.") Anywhoo. So yes. That visit was traumatic. Dr C said he needs a hearing test and an MRI- and that really dropped the stressbomb.* Thankfully, Krista had some good advice, Tami helped get my prescriptions, and the cute boy from last year let me hide from him at the pharmacy since I looked like a hobo. That was kind. Then Brandon and Jeremiah gave me a comforting blessing and I slept soundly.

So Bree took me back for 2 hours of hearing/eye tests Friday, where the ever-so-nice Ethan made me laugh and assured me during the tests that I did MUCH better than the senior citizens he usually met with. (HA! Take THAT, Geriatrics!) Of course, one of the tests made me incredibly dizzy and it was clear that even when I thought I wasn't dizzy, I definitely was. Poop.
Now I have to go back for another test on Monday and a second opinion on Tuesday and at some point an MRI (which just scares the bejeezus out of me). So. Those of you who have been so sweet to call and check on me- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I heart each and every one of you. To those of you who have been concerned: I don't need anything.** I am not "sick." I'm not bleeding out my eyes. I'm not falling down stairs (or mountains, my Havasupi friends). I'm just mildly dizzy most of the time which gives me a constant headache (that basically makes up for 30 years of never having a headache, I suppose). This just means I'm not very chatty right now and I'm not allowed to drive. So you can post your comments and I'll check in this way, so you know I haven't passed away on you. Other than that, I am okay and really looking forward to the KCRW Lily Allen/The Shins concert tonight.

I have the earplugs if you wanna drive. Call me.
* Normally I only cry in really amazing films and Hallmark commercials. Considering that earlier in the week I bawled through most of It Could Happen To You, I'm blaming the moon for this uncharacteristic outpour of emotion.
** Driving IS the one thing I need help with! I am not allowed to drive, which really cramps my workweek. And my concert schedule. So if you want to help, that would hit the spot! Other than that, I will sit and watch tivo with you whenever you want. I'm not really going anywhere.
*** Also- I totally forgot to do my taxes. Anyone want to send me to someone that will actually get me a return? Thank you.


HannaHighpoint said...

You know I'd go to the concert if I didn't have an f-ing wedding to go to tonight. Other people's joy = my misery! Not that I'm not happy for them. But I'm missing a damn good concert. They better have good cake.

f*bomb. said...

And you know how much I love concerts with YOU.
I have a wedding I've been looking forward to, also. But this lineup is INCREDIBLE. Besides. Their marriage will last forever. This concert will NOT.
Priorities, priorities...

f*bomb. said...

Sadly- I did NOT get to go to the concert. However, I DID attend Skidmore's bridal shower (gorgeous), a "family-friend" wedding (out of 100 people, not one was one I would hit on- SAD ODDS), followed by Caroline and Dave's wedding- perfectly suited to them (which made me very happy to see). On the way home, my designated drivers decided it would be good to go to a party. Where there were high school students. Yes. I got to meet boys who weren't in college yet. And. It. Was. Awesome!!!

tb said...

Uhm, as a fellow farmer, I have to ask: Did you try the bag balm?
And my aunt has meineers disease, which basically means her inner ear doesn't work right and she occasionally falls down in the grocery store. She doesn't have to wear a special helmet or anything though.

f*bomb. said...

I wear a helmet if I go ice skating, but so help me if I have to wear one to go to the grocery store.
For the record, I only fell down the one time. I've lost balance here and there, but it's not so bad leaning up against walls occasionally.

Props to the Bag Balm! I'm so glad to find another believer!!!

f*bomb. said...

Okay. I just returned from one more test and discussed the results with my doctor. It's definately not my imagination. Apparently, while it's okay to be "7-20% off balance" with these tests, at 20% or more, you most definitely need an MRI. I am at 40%. So something is very off.

So, we have three options. A tumor, MS, or a virus. I have never wanted for a virus so badly in my entire life. Please pray that it is only a virus.

Thank you.

Seymour Glass said...

you know it could be sarcoidoisis. that's what house seems to go with when he's not sure. you know, until the MRI word got mentioned i was amused by your vertigo, it reminded me of lucille ostero (buster's girlfriend from Arrested Development for the developmentally challenged reader).

but now that you missed the shins in concert with lily allen i'm concerned. and i can't believe you didn't invite me to that show.

here's to some treatable virus. say to hi to dr. cameron for me.

f*bomb. said...

Thanks, lover. It's definitely not sarcoidosis, as I don't have any lumpiness going on.
As for Lucille- I am exactly like her. EXACTLY. In fact, I'm dating Buster and having an affair with Gob already. My home teachers have advised I start falling on men in order to take advantage of my next case of "the dizzies."

Still trying to get MRI scheduled for TODAY. Wish me luck! Remember: We've got money riding on "virus."