Things I hear a lot:
"You're SO non-judgemental!"
"Farrah's just not a Molly- not at all!"
"I knew YOU'd be cool enough to handle it."
Thanks for the compliments. But I need to correct you. I am not "cool" with someone's inappropriate jokes or demeaning comments in his lame attempts to be charming or funny. I am totally a "Molly," and f*ing proud of it. And I am SO judging you right now.
The truth is, I AM judgmental.* Here's why:
I don't spend time with people I don't like. I don't care if that makes me "nice" or not- I figure someone who decided to screw over another and prove that they are a complete jerk, well, that pretty much ends my interest in knowing them. To the women who use men for gifts and money- get your own job and buy your own stuff. I don't respect your ways and I don't want to be associated with you. To those who have hooked up with someone and then ignored them- I don't want any chance of anybody thinking I support your poor character. To the people who lie, manipulate, purposely hurt and abuse others- I think you're scum. Dirty, dirty scum. If you can't be decent and value basic human life, you suck. And I don't care how many social events I may see you at; I do not want to acknowledge you as a friend simply because we are surrounded by mutual acquaintences. Am I burning bridges here? You betcha. At some point, we need to make a stand and be strong enough to reject wickedness. And if that means burning some bridges, then the whole f*ing world can blaze. Because the people left surrounding you will all be ones you can trust, inside and out. I'd rather have them in my corner than 5 bazillion jackasses who'd sell out for a dime.
I really like the fact that my friends are all people I respect. I am friends with really amazing individuals. We may not have anything in common, we may not do the same things, we may not appear to "fit;" but one thing I can say is that I can look at every single friend of mine in the eye, and appreciate them for who they are and what they represent.** Sometimes the only thread that ties us is a mutual respect and appreciation (or a love of Law and Order)- these friendships are cherished because we find value in one another. Not gain. Not status. Just pure appreciation for another human being.
We are all children of God. We are all worthy of His love. And while I would never waste my time or energy to actively slander someone else's name, I will certainly not allow a bad character to use their association with me to promote themself as a person worth knowing. Straighten yourself out and do right. THEN, maybe we can be friends.
* John 7:24, Jacob 6:12
** I have A LOT of friends. And they are good people. And if you screw one of them over, don't expect me to go out of my way to acquire you as one.