Monday, July 30, 2007

The Fat Virus.

Apparently, obesity is contagious. And NOT from social habits- even if you talk on the phone or email a severely obese person on a regular basis, you are likely to gain weight. There is an article telling us that, for our health's sake, we need to sever all ties with obese people. Conversely, I have observed that the average median of attractiveness goes up approximately 32% when individuals participate on Blogg. It's just a fact. And you know it must be true because I used a percentile.

Science, how ridiculous are you going to get? I mean, honestly. Is it because the only people who want to play with you lack social skills and don't know how to dance? Is it because girls used to avoid you in high school? Why are you obsessed with making people self-conscious? Why are you so bent on alienating individuals? I will never be friends with you, Science. You are mean. And you smell like poo.

8 comments:

Vanilla Vice said...

Rumor has it I hate fat people. This is a lie, but perhaps you'll be skinnier hanging out with me, based on this fictional falsehood.

chloe elizabeth said...

Amen! Especially to the smelling like poo. I would also add "greezy" to the list of adjectives.

Amy said...

How in the world did you get that "even if you talk on the phone or email a severely obese person on a regualr basis you are likely to gain weight" from this article??? The closing line of the article says "It's a big mental leap to think you can catch obesity."

P.S. I love science and when I grow up I want to be a scientist. I believe that is the process of making science your boyfriend. Also, I am not socially inept and I'm a great dancer!

Tannerama said...

Well, it was nice knowing all of you. You probably won't want to talk to me because you don't want to catch the FattyBoombalatty virus. In fact, I better stop commenting on the blog.

f*bomb. said...

I actually heard about this "virus" on the radio- this was just one of the articles (there are several) that wrote about the "disease." They were very specific to note that the studies "proved" that personal contact was unnecessary for the virus to spread.

f*bomb. said...

PS-
Besides, Miss Amy; I already HAVE a serious boyfriend. His name is iPod.
Tannerama is one of my new favourite Blogg commenters- if Science is mean and calls you names, just say the word and I'll slash his tires.

Anonymous said...

Here's what I say to that...

http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=745&country=us

Broek

f*bomb. said...

O, Broek!
We are laughing SO HARD over here...Where you find these things is a miracle; nay, a blessing. A beautiful, glorious BLESSING from HEAVEN.

Don't think for one second this guy isn't going to show up somewhere again here...