Tuesday, July 31, 2007

phone.

I ran upstairs to drop something off, leaving my phone in the hands of my friend for safe-keeping. It was maybe not so safe with her. 20 minutes later, I received the following text from a particularly persistant boy that somehow never quite connects with me, but is sexy in that dirty "I sleep in silk sheets" sort of way:
"Come over."
You know I never text. So I mustered up one line:
"Pardon?" and then ran upstairs to take a shower. When I returned, there were two messages waiting for me:
"...Smiling."
"Ur silence mean goodnight?"
It is 1am now.
Then:
"Hahaha. Im just tryin to have a lil fun QT. Not offincive. sorry"
"Offincive"? "QT"??? "UR"?????
If anything can guarantee I will not go over and hook up with this guy it's a text message at 1am. Add horrible grammar, disregard for punctuation, and impossibly bad spelling and you have yourself a DEAL BREAKER.
Which is really a shame. Because who doesn't love silk sheets?

18 comments:

Dubious Brown said...

My grammar is impeccable, but my sheets are made of cotton :-)

ThomCarter.com said...

I had to learn the "grammar of text" when I was in a young men's presidency last year. It's hard and weird.

There was a comic in Sunday's paper that sums it up well.

http://www.arcamax.com/zits/s-216238-831565

My sheets are flannel

chloe elizabeth said...

Amen! Who doesn't love silk sheets? Seriously.

Thanks for the blog recommendation, too. I'm loving it!

Krista said...

Really.... don't get your panties in a bunch. Maybe your "good friend" was just trying to "hook a sister up" (with silk sheets, that is...)

Seymour Glass said...

there's absolutely no excuse for writing poorly in a text message. or spelling things incorrectly (predictive text can help). plus, if you're me, you spend most of your time texting adding new, huge words to your phone because i'm completely unwilling to compromise the way i write for the medium of text messaging.

Tannerama said...

Silk Sheets are overrated. Give me 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton any day!

Also, I think the guy would have been more successful had he put "How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?" And then made a jungle cat noise. RRROWRRR!

caroline said...

i would have been ON that.

f*bomb. said...

One word:
Mi-aow.

Rachel said...

I second Tannerama. I was going to say Egyptian cotton too. Guaranteed sweet dreams for all...

f*bomb. said...

Do they MAKE 1000 count sheets? I just got the ones on sale in Costco...I think they're 600. They're pretty and they go with my bedspread.

Those of you who think silk is overrated have either not slept in silk sheets or probably need to exfoliate to better appreciate the soft sweetness that is silk. rawr.

f*bomb. said...

PS-
I feel that moral dilemma that arrives with a booty-call.
1) That I don't want him to think I would EVER...
2) I don't want him to be embarassed at his failure to make the pass (because I still do like him, even though this experience is a definate, "Farrah, so help me, if you EVER..." realization).
3) Do I tell him it was a joke in order to protect MY rep, or do I let it slide and let him think I'm That Kind of Girl?

Vanilla Vice said...

This is precisely why I broke up with texting. I hate shorthand, and I think I start to look at these boys with contempt when I see their grammar and spelling in a text, or even a poorly constructed email. I get the occasional typo, but seriously, show a little respect!

Rachel said...

Tell him straight up that you were surprised and confused and that you art not that kind of girl. Then let HIM do the explaining.

f*bomb. said...

O dear...
I'm afraid I'm not that confrontational...

Besides- he texted it because my "good friend," as she calls herself, texted him first. What did her text from MY phone read, you ask? I wondered much the same. Here is her original message that started all this:

I WANT YOU.

Rudie can't fail said...

I can't believe you are not a texter, Farrah. I would have guessed otherwise. I am not much of a texter either except for, oh idk, my bff jill.

f*bomb. said...

que?
idk?
jill?
Rudie...You know I don't know who you are, right?

Rudie can't fail said...

Apparently someone has Tivo and skips the commercials. Type "BFF Jill" into YouTube and you'll find it...

Rachel said...

Well, in that case... I dunno. It all sounds like a joke that got a little confused.