Monday, June 4, 2007

Speaking of Betrayals...

I just got a call from a blocked number. It was a girl asking who I was. "This is Farrah. Who is this?" And then she goes, "I was just going through my boyfriend's phone and your number is in it." I said, " this about his medical equipment?" And then she's like, "Look, I read his text messages. And after this, he is single." (First of all, everyone knows I don't text. Secondly, last I checked, I wasn't dating anyone, so I think this dude is in the clear.) Then she calls me a bitch and hangs up on me.
2 minutes later:
She just called me back.
So I say, "Sweetie, seriously, I want to help you out- who is this guy?" And she's like, "It doesn't matter, because after tonight, he's single." And I say, "Well, because I'm not dating anyone, so I think you might have the wrong number and I'd hate for you to end something because of a mista-" and then she yells that she's dumping him, it's over, and I can f* him all I want.
That was intense for a Monday afternoon.

Now, ladies, I understand that it is customary for many of you to peruse your boyfriend's cells/palms/a'la Little Black Book (one of the most embarrassing movies ever made). But please. Must we really jump to conclusions? I mean, I know for a fact that this poor girl is upset over nothing, because I don't text people, and I'm not dating anyone, and I am most definitely not associating with anyone who would be "f*ing me." I'm just not the type of girl to text, commit, or f*. So she's definitely got the wrong cell.

Actually, I'm having difficulty determining who is worse in this situation. The woman who is sneaking into her boyfriend's phone to spy on him, or the man who would illicit some sort of reason for his girlfriend to poke through his phone. Is she the crazy one, or has he simply driven her crazy? Personally, I feel rather sorry for the poor bastard. That girl really went ape on me. I can't even imagine what she must be like in person. To someone she knows. He won't even know what hit him. Because it certainly wasn't me.


f*bomb. said...

Holy crap.
She just called me AGAIN.
Yelling. AGAIN.
I don't know how to communicate with this harpie, but now she's starting to waste my minutes and my patience.

So. If you are her boyfriend, and you are sending me sexy text messages that I am not receiving, I am giving you the heads up that she is really, really pissed at you. And I'm sorry. I've done all I can do.

Good luck with all that.

Vanilla Vice said...

This is AWESOME!

Aaron said...

and ladies wonder where the stereotype referred to when one says "women are crazy!" comes from?

i keep getting calls for rita, and the grammatically challenged guy calling REALLY doesn't like that I answer "rita's" phone.

K said...

Oh, my gosh! I LOVE the show "Cheaters"!!!!!

f*bomb. said...

That show depresses me beyond the typical depression I experience due to Reality Television tears. Mostly because THEY'RE REAL.

I feel for you, crazy-woman-who-is-calling-to-threaten-me. But please. Double check those digits, because now you're just wasting my minutes and it's starting to piss me off.

Kory said...

Farrah, I love your blog. You're my favorite. My life is void of drama and luckly I get to live through you.

veeda said...

amen. your blog is fun fun fun.

f*bomb. said...

Thanks, guys. I'm so glad you find death threats from a crazy-psycho-hose-beast amusing...

At first, I really did feel for the poor girl. I mean, let's be honest. This situation sucks. But I can't even imagine the frame of mind it must require to spy through someone else's text messages/emails/personal mode of communication. And to then CALL A STRANGER?!?! Who was very nice??? And polite??? AND who even tried to be helpful? I mean, WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM US, Cheating Boyfriend Whom I've Never Met?!?! WHAT MORE CAN SHE WANT!?!?!
She's right.
This relationship exhausts me.

louisgray said...

Wow. I'm so sorry. I apologize for sending you those texts. I really thought I would get away with it too.

Great recap. :-)

f*bomb. said...

I know. I know. I really wish I would stop f*ing other people's boyfriends.
I really need to get my vagina under control.

Ashlee said...

I don't see what the big deal is. Farrah has f*ed a lot of my boyfriends. You deal with it an move on. It's never gonna stop.

Cherry said...

That is so wierd that some girl keeps calling you. I never could understand the misplaced anger women have for another woman. You have no commitment to her- she should death threat the guy who was supposedly commited to her.