2 minutes later:
O MY WORD.
She just called me back.
YELLING. At ME!!!
So I say, "Sweetie, seriously, I want to help you out- who is this guy?" And she's like, "It doesn't matter, because after tonight, he's single." And I say, "Well, because I'm not dating anyone, so I think you might have the wrong number and I'd hate for you to end something because of a mista-" and then she yells that she's dumping him, it's over, and I can f* him all I want.
That was intense for a Monday afternoon.
Now, ladies, I understand that it is customary for many of you to peruse your boyfriend's cells/palms/a'la Little Black Book (one of the most embarrassing movies ever made). But please. Must we really jump to conclusions? I mean, I know for a fact that this poor girl is upset over nothing, because I don't text people, and I'm not dating anyone, and I am most definitely not associating with anyone who would be "f*ing me." I'm just not the type of girl to text, commit, or f*. So she's definitely got the wrong cell.
Actually, I'm having difficulty determining who is worse in this situation. The woman who is sneaking into her boyfriend's phone to spy on him, or the man who would illicit some sort of reason for his girlfriend to poke through his phone. Is she the crazy one, or has he simply driven her crazy? Personally, I feel rather sorry for the poor bastard. That girl really went ape on me. I can't even imagine what she must be like in person. To someone she knows. He won't even know what hit him. Because it certainly wasn't me.