Sunday, June 3, 2007

Will Run for Food.

Will I walk to cure AIDs? Just once, when I was in high school.
Did I run to save children from cancer? Nah.
Save the local hospital? uhh, NO.

I will run for food.

Saturday's Corona del Mar 5K was run purely for the food. Once you finish the race, you get to graze through a gamut of amazing, delectable food-treats. It goes without saying that any morning jog that ends with a pizza and burritos for breakfast is my kind of race. And while I have never had a desire to run a marathon, I have always wanted to take one of those mile-marker cups of water, dump the rest on my own head, and then crunch it with my amazingly powerful fist and huck it on the ground like I own the street. So that was pretty much the race for me- o, and the parts where I did jumpkicks for the cameras so I could fill Blogg with photos full of self-celebratory glory.

Someone asked me what the furthest I have ever run was. I think maybe it would be about 5 miles- and that's if iPod really gets me going on a Saturday morning, and I feel like I just can't stop my dancin' feet. Other than that, sometimes at the gym I would do around 7 miles, if there was some Law & Order marathon or something. But you people who run for 13 miles? Or 26? Was a wild animal chasing you? Because unless I am in mortal danger, I don't see the point. And even if I DID have something chasing me, let's be honest- I'd probably just lay down and take one for the team. Because, who are we kidding? I'm not gonna outrun something bigger and meaner than me. It's just never gonna happen. So may as well save any shred of dignity I may have and go down as a martyr. At least I won't get all sweaty.
To Gina's Pizza: I am in love with you. Seriously. Let's make babies.
To Islands: Your lime tacos made my morning almost as much as those 3 hot guys I followed around afterward.
To 5 Crowns: I will TOTALLY let someone take me out to have your lemon custard again. WOWZA.
To the men of Corona del Mar: I don't get it. I tried running fast enough so I'd run alongside someone attractive, but I didn't see anyone! Aren't the good-looking, youngbucks of Newport supposed to be at the finishline FIRST? I am so confused. We're only lucky I had tacos to replace my disappointment in you.


Anonymous said...

That was probably the best run of my life! There is nothing better than the anticipation of a smorgous board of food to eat! If only I had to run everytime before I was planning on eating that much food. Maybe a morning run should be required to attend the weekly souplantation lunch! Also, Gina's Pizza!!! AMAZING!! Who knew such great pizza available for consumption. I will definitely run to that place on any day!

The Caped Pussy said...

When I get going, you definitley would run a marathon to get away from my menacing claws.

To fancy feast - thanks for coming and providing your wonderful treats to the stray cats who roam the streets fighting crime in corona del mar.

Chloe Elizabeth said...

First of all...I love your blog. Second, while I run for other reasons, the food at the end is a great motivator, at least on the 5k (that's all I've done are 5ks).

And, I'm glad you like my music. Let me know if you ever want to trade cds. I'm always looking for new stuff.

Dainon said...

Will you come run the Bryce Canyon half marathon with me? Rumor has it it is completely downhill. July 21st. Do it!

Ashlee said...

Nothing like finishing up a 5K, running into Farrah loading up her plate, and screaming "I'm gonna eat until my head explodes!" I would expect nothing less. Typical Farrah Style. The style that I love.

f*bomb. said...

And O how I did. O HOW I DID.

Dainon- Did you seriously just ask me to voluntarily run for 13 miles? In the middle of an f*ing desert?!?! Do I SOUND like I have some sort of death wish? Because unless they're serving ice-cream with pieces of brownie in it at every 1/4 mile, I don't understand why anyone would do such a thing.

caroline said...

i totally tell sushi all the time how i want to make babies with it! your pizza babies and my sushi babies should have a playdate. a delicious and delightful playdate.

f*bomb. said...

There is this new sushi place in Yorba Linda that has cream cheese, blueberry jelly, fancy crumbly cheese and other little things that normally don't go in sushi.

I can't wait to try it.

As for sushi-pizza babies...Will they be as delightful as the tater-tot/pizza bite/mini-corndogfest smorgousboard of prison food I had last night?