Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Deal-Breaker.

A friend says that a woman who rides a scooter is a deal-breaker.
"Even if it's one of those cute 60's throwback Vespas that looks like it belongs in Italy?" I ask.
Yes. DEAL BREAKER.
Clearly, he has not familiarized himself with
Death Scab for Scootie, whose accessories alone make me wish I had a motorgang to roll with at sunset.

Deal-Breakers. We've all got them.
So? What are your deal-breakers? We should all probably just get this out of the way right now, because we all know that everyone on Shameless is mostly here for the free publicity and chance to score with someone highly intelligent and attractive.
Take note. This may be important someday. Unless, of course, his deal-breaker is something totally awesome and he is being absolutely ridiculous.

34 comments:

Dubious Brown said...

how could riding a scooter be a deal breaker?! Girls on scooters are hot!

f*bomb. said...

Yeah, well...Another guy said he would never date anyone more than 1 year older than him. Which just seems completely unreasonable to me.
Unless you are still a minor. In which case, I'D probably date you.

Tannerama said...

Deal breaker? Ignorance. Oh man, an ignorant girl is a big time broken deal.

f*bomb. said...

Ignorance and Intolerance are my pet peeves...Deal breakers? That's a strong term...

f*bomb. said...

Drunkedness and general idiot douchebag behavior is an automatic outs.

Seriously. I met up with my date once and he informed me he was on vicodin and smelled heavily of beer. AS IF.

My Jr Prom date was a senior who was superhandsome and charming and captain of anything that mattered, and he was incredibly sweet to me and it was so amazing that he wanted to go to MY Jr Prom... But then he was rude to my friends and kind of a wuss, so I left him in the parking lot after the dance.

Seymour Glass said...

willful ignorance (not like your ignorance of The Clash, which is not your fault and doesn't make you a bad person, just a deprived one for now), intolerance, provincialism, man-hands, bad laugh, doesn't like The Beatles, favorite movie is Dumb & Dumber, crass materialism, and doesn't like dogs.

Salt H2O said...

Dior Sunglasses, Prada Shirts, A coach wallet....any sort of designer clothes on men.

Vanilla Vice said...

Lying. Vertically challenged. Smoking. I'd usually say country music but my current flame thinks Interpol is "indie" and wails lyrics about beer and trucks.

Morgan said...

chewing tobacco. nothing makes me want to smooch a woman more than seeing her with a skoal bandit in her mouth. pause pause pause NOT (in the voice of borat)

Sarita said...

Intolerance and ignorance are big to me. Making uninformed comments about an entire race or culture.

The most common and biggest though? Guys who act aloof and too cool for everyone around them. They may seem intriguing or mysterious at first, but once you realize that they can't so much as be cordial to your friends. No go.

And just so there are no misunderstandings: Aloof and reserved are two different animals, but either way, be nice and mildly friendly.

ThomCarter.com said...

Women who weigh more than me (I weigh 220).

Women who play games (see Bree's blog)

Women who sell themselves short.

Dudes (that is a major deal breaker for me)

caroline said...

besides the obligatory lying, cheating, manipulating, being a jerk i'd say pucca shell necklaces are a deal breaker for me. and visors upside down and backwards. and people who think i need to tan.

Salt H2O said...

I second the pucca shells and the visor- and may I add, highlights- not the natural ones that come from spending your days surfing and playing volley ball on the beach. But the ones you have your sister in law put in your hair to make people THINK that you spend your days surfing and playing volleyball on the beach.

Salt H2O said...

One more- PORN

Ashlee said...

deal breaker for me --
a close minded know it all.

bex said...

thank you, farrah. if anything, a DSFS membership should break the deal in our favor, right?

I have a problem with grammer. That is sort of a silly deal-breaker, but i like it when they're and their and there are used just right.

Too short = too bad. I have been attracted to many a shorter gent, but the physical aspect of it will always bother me.

sara schow said...

Guys who are really cheap, aka stingy. There's a difference between being frugal and being stingy. Being careful with your money is admirable but being stingy is just really annoying. Also guys who are shorter than me... I'm a tall girl so unfortunately this cuts out a lot of options, but I need to feel feminine and being taller than the guy doesn't make me feel feminine.

Rachel said...

Boys who offer to be my model when they learn that I take figure painting classes. It turns me off every time.

Tannerama said...

I should have clarified. A willful and widespread ignorance. Not like "I haven't heard of that artist." But more like "I don't like art."

Other deal breakers are girls being too coy.(I'm not going to jump through hoops of fire just to have a conversation with you.) Passive aggressiveness. Hippies. Daddy issues. Infidelity. Annoying laugh. And No or Poor sense of humor.

Rudie cant fail said...

Are we talking deal breakers or minor irritants here? I have things that annoy me and would make me less inclined to date someone, but as far as deal breakers go - ie absolute contraindications to a relationship -there are only a few things:

1: Membership and/or belief in any multilevel marketing scheme. Amway, NuSkin, Melaluca, Neways, Noni juice, whatever...mention that you are a "distributer" and this conversation is over before you can say "upline".

2: I always get yelled at when I say this, but since I am somewhat anonymous on the interweb: serious mental illness. I hate to sound heartless, but I've seen it close up, and I am not interested in spending my life dealing with that.

β♂ said...

Vegetarianism.

caroline said...

oh, i thought of one more. i guy who can't handle sass and/or opinions from a girl

Sarita said...

I really have a hard time with a guy who has a ridiculous car. As in spends a lot of money on some sports car that is lame to begin with. Displays a great lack of common sense.

Marie said...

Cruel comments about other women, such as the following real-life words, spoken by an otherwise attractive guy (manboy? slimeball? bacterium?) known to a friend of mine:

"That girl who spoke in Sacrament Meeting, who talked about being a runner? She's not a runner -- I'M a runner. And she can SAY she's a runner as many times as she wants to, but it's not going to make her attractive."

Oh, and I'd like to register a "here here" on the indulgent cars (including big trucks polished with a diaper) and pyramid schemers. Also porn, but do we really need to say that??

Krista said...

Deal Breaker? Three words.....

STAR TREK FETISH.

darcy fabulous said...

Cheapskates.

Too complimentary to the point of suffocation.

Obsessive about primping.

(I'm girl enough for the both of us.)

f*bomb. said...

Amen to that. To ALL of that. My goodness...Rudy may be my new all-time-most-favourite newcomer. And those of you listing puka shells and visors must be living in Utah, since the ENTIRE time I was in Salt Lake, I could spot guys wearing signs stating, "I'm a giant tool" just by noting the use of accessories from 1995.
Still...Perhaps some of these things aren't deal-breakers, so much as a cry for help? I mean, porn is one thing- puka shells are quite another.

f*bomb. said...

Lies.
Even the small ones.
If you're willing to lie about something that doesn't matter, what else will you be willing to lie about?

Sarita said...

Cartoon ties. And that aint no lie.

Anonymous said...

Ok, so I stumbled upon your blog and I would like to throw 2 hands up for all these comments. But as an anonymous blogger I would love to add one more. Emotional incest. I’m saying a momma’s boy is cute and charming to a point. But when you lift up his shirt and see that the dude hasn’t cut the cord to mommy yet. Well, don’t let the door hit you on your way out. I will never be your mother and for that we can all thank the heavens above.

f*bomb. said...

It's true...Guys wearing cartoon ties are always just that much closer to being supercreepy. Kind of like clowns.
Incidentally, I knew a guy who ALWAYS wore cartoon ties. He was a professional clown. SCARY.

Dainon said...

Contemporary LDS music.
You listen to it? I leave.
End 'o story.

f*bomb. said...

There was a "concert" here recently (I use the term loosely because it was a fireside with a band). And because they're LDS, I guess that makes their music church-y. I did not attend, but I heard they had the whole audience close their eyes and imagine rain as an intro to what I assume must be considered their showstopper hit.

There is just something not right about Christian rock in general. Unless it's an African choir or Sister Knight, in which case, I wish I were a Pip.

Marie said...

But but but....I would be very sad if all Mo-Pop went away -- what would I snark at? My friend & I have had HOURS of fun making up new verses to an especially bad one that slipped by the Sacrament Meeting censors, entitled "Little White Dress." Oyavonga, it was a stinker, but what joy it has brought us! And isn't this a gospel of joy?

There is exactly one overtly Christian, non-Gospel-derived pop song I've loved: "Strays," by Hem. Exquisite.