Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Crush.

I don't believe in crushes anymore. And not because I'm bitter or jaded or don't believe in magic...Simply because a crush at this point in my life seems like an absolutely ridiculous waste of energy and time. Not very romantic of me, I know. And to be honest, it makes me just a little bit sad. I loved having someone to look forward to putting my lipstick on for just so I can not talk to him because I would be too nervous. The unreasonable, inexplicable giddiness and that little flip my stomach would do when a crush rounds a corner and you see him unexpectedly. The flutter in my heart that would happen when he would look me in the eye and talk to me when there was really nothing more to say.


But I'm closing the book on all of that. It's time I grow up and keep my crushing for the men who are actually giving me a good reason to like them, instead of wasting energy and time on boys who- bottom line- are never gonna do anything about it. I'm not saying I can control the flush (read: full body sweat) when someone I might crush on is near, but there will be no more of this idle chat about someone I'm not dating, there will be no laying down the red carpet for him, no more invitations to events or dinner parties. A crush will get NONE of this. All my efforts, attention, and excitement is hereby reserved for a man who is man enough to ACTUALLY ask me out. Once I have good reason to like him, because he first liked me, THEN, let the crushing begin!

12 comments:

k8 said...

so does this mean I get Owen Wilson all to myself???

Random Jen said...

I had a crush on the hub basically from the moment i met him. He didn't ask me out at first because he was moving 3 months later (i found out later). I basically had to tell him I thought he was hot (ok, not basically. That's exactly what i did) and THEN he asked me out. :) Good thing i did that, else we wouldn't have ever happened. I don't know why i'm telling you this other than to share a random story about crushes... the end. I guess what i'm trying to say is, crush on, Farrah. Crush on.

Salt H2O said...

I don't feel nearly the same way about Michael J. Fox as I did when I was 10.

We out grow crushes, and those that don't out grow the crush, turn into stalkers.

ThomCarter said...

Didn't Elder Oaks say something about this . . . Lock your pantries or something?

f*bomb. said...

O, Jen. I appreciate the story, but...Didn't we already discuss the ramifications of forward women? In theory it is nice, but I think the charm of it all wears off after we pass the age of early 20's. If a man is 30 and can't find the time or energy or courage to ask me out, then, Hunny, we ain't GOING out!

I still feel for Micheal J. Fox. But the love has grown deeper and more lovely than ever before. I heart you, Micheal! xoxox!

f*bomb. said...

Yes- CLOSE YOUR CUPBOARDS, Ladies! The Elders have SPOKEN! Besides. They all just know you're brownie sluts anyway.

And, Miss K8- if you think what Owen and I share is a mere CRUSH- you have been far too long off the scene. Ours is a thing of beauty, respect, admiration, and fabulously feathered hair...But Luke is all yours.

random jen said...

Yes, I definitely think that men should be men and ask women out. There is no excuse for that. Step up, guys. But i also think it's ok for a girl to let a guy know she likes him.

But, also, people are different, as has been discussed many times. Some like being persued, some like persuing, etc. And, I think i read on K8's blog a brilliant post on how there are no rules, necessarily, when faced with real-life situations and people, which i think is definitely true and an excellent reminder.

I can only speak for me but I really wonder what might've happened if i hadn't been open & had absolutely refused to do anything to tell this guy i dig him.

Anyway, no more blathering from me.

I enjoy the blogg. :)

f*bomb. said...

Thanks, Lady!
Here's the thing- At this point in life, a man's gotta really show me that he DESERVES my attention- that he even WANTs it. The odds are so skewed, many men today just don't have to try very hard to find a woman who's willing to bend over backward for him. It's bad enough we have a female populus that still bakes for attention, but when even initiating dating hinges on the woman making the first move...I just ask, Mothers- how lazy did you raise your son to be?!?! There's not a man I know who, when he really wants it, he goes out and gets it. Whether that's a job, a vacation, or a woman.

There's a great inequality going on, and the more we pander by crushing on men who haven't done anything to warrant our attention, the worse off we will be as women in relationships.

caroline said...

people have to EARN my baking. i'm not giving it out for free...

ps- i went to a dessert party for the first time in a long time the other night, and i was amazed at how many "chesters" (that's my more polite term for douche bag) rolled up in there, just waiting for girls to give them attention. they would all just sit there with their dude posse and wait for the girls to compete for them. OH, and of course almost NONE of them brought any food to contribute. classic.

Vanilla Vice said...

Um, something should be said about crushes being a motivation to get you to class in college. A really boring class could always be jazzed up with the hopes that the hot guy would be there. Sometimes the same can be said of Sunday School. Or FHE. Wait. I just remembered what ward I'm in. They're all coming to see me...j/k. haha. Nor really though.

Liz said...

Brownie slut. Hee hee!

Yeah, I had to give up crushes because I was LOUSY at it. It seemed that any time I was forward it promptly fell out of the sky in a ball of flame. Did I have a wierd looking flirty face? Did I smell bad when I got to crushing? who knows. I envied girls who could go "get" a man.

Good thing Darin was a man and persistent about it. It was the only way!

f*bomb. said...

O, and did he ever score, Sis!

That's just it; a man who pursues an admirable woman because he sees the value in an equal partner essentially gets a trophy. HIS trophy. Whereas, a man who is pursued by a woman...well...That woman probably won't be me.