Class is in.Pay attention, 'coz you gonna get SCHOOLED. If you don't read these blogs already, you probably should. I am particularly in favour of a recent subject: Diamonds.
You've probably heard my voice on this one, but I like the documentation from Katie and Kory. Click on their names and get the full story.
28 comments:
wow! I'm so flattered!
I talk about the history of the diamond, but there are some social aspects I didn't address:
If a girl is secure with who she is she won't care what kind/ size of ring is on her hand.
If a guy is secure with who he is, he won't feel the need to prove to his finace and the world that he's a good provider by going into debt for a worthless rock.
Farrah, it's no surprise that you're an anti-dimaondite, because you don't need no bling to re-affirm that your one hot tamale.
My friend told her impending fiance that she wanted a synthetic diamond and he wouldnt have it. I don't blame him, he just doesnt quite understand as much as these lovely bloggers do.
I have never been keen on the idea of a diamond for myself (just not my style) but the stigma of it changed my impresionable mind for a bit. Now I am determined to get a band sans the bling. Can't buy me love.
I read Kory's post last night- the corresponding Atlantic article is a really good one. I've thought before about my dislike of diamonds as engagement rings- and since I've always felt that I have a bigger problem with the political issues surrounding diamonds (especially their historical and continued effect on Africa) than I have with the absurd marketing and cartel actions (though I'm not a big fan there either) I wanted to make sure that I'm not just being cheap- that I am willing to invest money into a symbol of a relationship, as long as it isn't a diamond. I also wanted to avoid having something that tried to pass itself off as a diamond. If you refuse to participate in a trade you know is horrible- why then give the impression that you did participate? Why contribute to the idea that diamonds are simply what you have to do for engagement/wedding rings? So, a moisonite would probably be out too.
But, in terms of buying a less expensive ring the economic arguments are persuasive- that it's absurd to spend that much money on a ring when you could instead use that money for the downpayment on your family's first home.
I think, if I ever get married, it will depend largely upon what my wife would want. Although, by that point the house and a nice (possibly sapphire) ring would hopefully not be mutually exclusive.
Micheal,
I totally agree. I didn't want a Moisenitte, or anything like unto a diamond- my husband didn't exactly listen to me on the whole ring thing (he knew I hated diamonds, but he was trapped in that whole mormon engagement ring mentality)- since then he's purchased me two new 'wedding rings' that are what I wanted- each have colored precious stones.
When I wore the orignal ring I told everone that it was a moisenite, it was a good excuse to get on my diamond soap box.
Out of all my rings, the favorite is the simple band.
my sister just got married and insisted on a non-diamond. she didn't even want to go faux, though, so they got a pearl and it is the prettiest thing i have ever seen.
i'm delighted to hear that Bex. Nothing drives me crazier than me saying "i don't want a diamond" and hearing "oh you just wait until someone buys you a big one!". Uh no, he won't because he will hopefully know his future wife well enough to know she's serious about this!
Not to mention how it has altered pre-marital law.
But, sweet Michael, don't you understand the allure of the APPEARANCE of Evil? I mean, you wouldn't expect me to give EVERYTHING up now, would you???
Besides- big, fake diamonds go with everything I own. Especially with my tiara.
When I get engaged, I'm not going to buy my fiancee a diamond because diamonds are evil. I know this because I did see the movie "Blood Diamond" and I also saw that James Bond movie ("Tomorrow Never Dies" I think?) where the villian was the white guy who was actually the Korean guy who had a face transplant who was using African conflict diamonds to finance a gigantic space laser ("Laser") which he was going to use to destroy the DMZ between North and South Korea. I don't want my beautiful expression of love going toward helping create all out war on the Korean peninsula. Also, I heard that song "Diamonds from Sierra Leone" by Kanye, and he said that conflict diamonds are bad, at least I think that is what he said - truthfully I had a hard time understanding it. Many bonified liberal/hippie publications such as "Mother Jones" and "Slate" and "Hemp Weekly" have told me that buying diamonds just helps support Multinational Corporations. I certainly don't want to support a Multinational.
So I will not buy a......BUT WAIT......
When I was at the BYU, there were ads for diamonds everywhere. The publication of the student directory was almost completely financed by diamond ads. There were diamond ads every day in the "Daily Universe", and we all know that the "DU" accepts only wholesome ads. Any ad of even marginal content will be censored and if an innappropriate one slips by, the papers willbe confiscated and an official apology issued. If diamonds were bad, certainly someone at the DU would have told me. Plus, every diamond ad featured a smiling blonde girl with a favorable boob to hip ratio (B/H ratio). Some of them even had testimonials from these ladies and their fiancees/husbands. Most of the guys were really not too attractive, yet they had managed to snag a B/H appropriate blonde. How did they pull this off??? It must have been the diamond. Well...I want a nice blonde with a satisfactory B/H ratio, even though I look like the daemon spawn of Steve Buschemi and Tiny Tim. I'm going to have to pony up for a nice diamond.
Also, there was that movie with Reese Witherspoon and Patrick Dempsy where he closed all of Tiffanys just so that he could let her pick the best diamond ever! That was the most romantic proposal in history, confirming that diamonds are, in fact, good. But wait...She dumped him for the poor redneck guy from the South, so diamonds are not necessary. But wait...He turned out to be rich, so he could get her a diamond after all. I'm so confused.....
I think I'll just take all the money I've saved up and buy myself a dog. Or one of those alternative companion animals. Like a monkey.
Oh man! I had a big office dividing fight about engagement rings at work a few months ago. I was saying that I feel that the engagement ring is ridiculous. Wedding ring was completely understandable because it is a symbol. But, engagement ring? Ridiculous.
Basically, I feel that my pledge of undying love and devotion and ETERNAL FIDELITY should be more than enough. Just like I am not expecting anything from my fiance. However, like most men, I will still probably end up buying one because the "tradition" has been so inculcated into our society that it is expected.
It's the same thing with this ludicrous idea called a "Push Present." Has anyone else heard of this? This crassly named idea is that a husband should buy his wife a present for "pushing" out a baby. Be it a car, clothing, or can we forget? Jewelry. You have brought a child into the world! Isn't that a gift in itself? The way I see it. This "push present" idea devalues the child... and the family unit. I mean it is totally awesome to give gifts to your wife. But, when they are assigned names and when they become expected. It takes all the joy and meaning out of such gifts.
Those are my thoughts.
Bless you, bless you, a thousand times bless you. I grew to hate diamond lust quite a few years ago when I heard a girl saying, and I quote, "When I get engaged, if he tries to get me a diamond smaller than one karat, it's over." She wasn't even hot, either.
That was before I learned about all the loveliness associated with the diamond trade. I watched a documentary on it the other day on PBS. Borderline slave labor in African diamond mines, rough diamonds taken to child labor diamond cutting mills in India that pay kids a pittance before sending them on to the wholesaler, who marks them up a few thousand percent, and sells them to brokers, jewlers or other middlemen, who wholesale to the retailers, who sell them to you. Lovely thing, that diamond trade.
One of the coolest wedding ring sets I've seen was the casing from ball bearings out of a skateboard wheel. Simple, effective, original.
I had a diamond once. It was pretty. Not huge. Not teeny. But nice. It had a flaw, though. I noticed the flaw often. It kind of bugged me. I gave it back. Not because of the flaw. Because of the guy.
Next time, if there is a next time, I'd like a sapphire, I think. Or perhaps a ruby.
Rudie- I thought I could crush on you, but now you're just kinda scaring me.
Tanner- A "push" present? gross. Isn't it usually just that the inflateable donut you need to sit on? Or, like, a rocking chair? Missa- comments?
Chloe- I think Michael said he was offering sapphires in exchange for unwavering devotion...See how Blogg just brings people together?
Gemstones aside, SOMEONE on this Blogg is going to get lucky. YOU HAVE MY WORD.
I believe before all this diamond nonsense began that sapphires were the traditional wedding ring gem. I googled it and couldnt find anything though. Still pretty sure I'm right. Still pretty sure that I don't want a stone regardless.
That's what Liz wears in the movie Dear Frankie. Only it was from her abusive husband. But then Gerard Butler pretends to be him for a day for her son. Gerard can give me a sapphire.
I got a very nice diamond from my ex when he proposed...it had a small flaw but we covered it with a prong. I was never that big on diamonds...they scare me a little, the thought of getting mugged or raped because i was wearing a mother diamond didn't appeal to me, and plus i'm kinda a hands on person and those darn things always get stuck on everything. So I switched mine out for a CZ after about 7 years. I loved it. cost like $100, no one was the wiser, plus no worries about it getting caught on my jig-saw! Needless to say, I got divorced and about a year after the divorce he asked for my ring back (he already had the real diamond) so he could buy himself a new car. Whoever said diamonds last forever obviously didn't have a love that needed a fast car more than sentimental value.
it's nice when people get married and don't sweat so much about what type of ring they get or how perfect every detail of the wedding is, and just concentrate on who they are with and why. the ring should not be a political statement, or a symbol of how much he cares, and the wedding shouldn't be the ultimate expression of who you are. those are both just side notes to the actual commitment you are making with the person you supposedly love more than anything else.
i think food and not diamonds should be the ultimate expression of love. it is to me, anyway.
I believe that it's more than the women that are dupped by the diamond industry. Sure men might feel the pressure put on by the ladies, but I've witnessed something more in my involvement in countless weddings. In many instances the brides wanted something small, or no diamond, much like myself. And the men couldnt handle that. I think it a matter of pride. Since the world tells us this is a declaration of our love and our subsequent worth, some guys fall prey to it. They can't have their wife walking around with just a band, because how would that reflect on the guy?
Ouch. So much for the lame attempt at humor. I'll stick to bland analytical commentary from now on.
Feel free to keep crushing, though. You know you do already.
i liked the humor.
Me, too. But monkeys as alternative companion animals frighten me. You know that.
SARITA! I LOVE that you loved "Dear Frankie"!!! That is IT.
I am proposing a carpool with Sarita, Rachel, Caroline, and Dainon from the SLC to the OC RIGHT NOW. I have no diamonds, but I can offer you each an ice cube in some filtered water for your troubles.
i DO want to go there, soon. anyone up for it? labor day weekend, perhaps?
Farrah, I'm sure you do look hot with big fake diamonds- but you should make sure they're huge so people ask about them and then you can self righteously explain that they aren't diamonds. (which, I suppose for stuck up self righteous liberals like me that's even better than nothing at all)
As for promising sapphires to Chloe, she's totally out of my league.
If people have the gall to ask about it, I'll just have to transfer it to my middle finger to give them a better look.
Maybe it's just an east-coast thing, but does anyone else think it's rude to place interest in the ring over interest in the relationship? Or ask about the relationship before the individual?
Ummm, I would be down for a road trip. In fact NEED a road trip something fierce. Labor Day it is. Not kidding.
Yes, I do thisnk it's rude Farrah. And tacky. Especially since I live in the land where when having a conversation with marrieds consists of nothing but the relationship. And then when there isnt one, suddenly there's nothing to talk about. Nevermind that my business that I started ALL BY MYSELF in the last year is going well. Or the mentoring that I'm getting involved in. Or the fact that I have cool friends who do fun things that are very worth talking about.
Never liked diamonds, never wanted one, the fact that that makes me look enlightened is a nice bonus. If you tell me that pearls and opals and rubies are similarly tainted, I'll have some soul-searching to do.
Speaking of BYU ring ads, I wrote a really cranky textual analysis of one of them for a writing class while I was at the Y. I've been meaning to post it on my blog in honor of my new sister-in-law, who opted out of the engagement ring. Thanks for the reminder.
As for the concept of a female-only engagement ring, I think it's kind of disturbing in terms of sexual politics. If my fiance is willing to wear one as well, then we're good. Otherwise, we can just tag each other at the altar.
One more bitsie: I had a lovely roommate who was a great and kind person in every way, but was particularly entranced by the whole Engagement Ring As Sign of Worth thing. She had to have her ring from a certain high-end boutique she'd visited since childhood, and it needed to have a big diamond. When she got engaged, she asked me to come with her to the shop and see the setting she was interested in, but they didn't have a display ring of that style with a large enough diamond in it, so she put the ring on and asked the owner of the shop to hold one-carat-plus diamonds over it with the tweezers so she could see how they would look on that setting. When he finally held up the carat size she was after, she was pleased with the effect. "What do you think?" she asked us. The store owner told her it looked like a tacky cocktail ring and that she should go with a smaller stone. It was one of the best moments of my life. I should have sent that guy a card.
Oooh, Marie should road trip as well.
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