Thursday, May 10, 2007

Commercials.

Sometimes I see them and they make me think that all my troubles would be solved between eHarmony and Lunesta.

And if I were using Valtrex, that must mean I am in a long-term, committed relationship where we go sailing, ride horses, mountainbike, and take amazing vacations together.

What a deal! Where do I sign up?

12 comments:

Vanilla Vice said...

You know that Valtrex leads to meaningful relationships. Maybe if I got genital herpes, I could get a boyfriend and go on cool vacations!

f*bomb. said...

And they always seem so COMMITTED to each other. And all it takes is transmitting an STD!

See how SIMPLE life is?!?!

The Dally Llama said...

That has to be my favorite commercial on the air. Every time that goofy looking guy pops up on the TV and says, "I have genital herpes," I about hit the floor. It's right up there with when Bob Dole became the poster boy for E.D. Find the guy in that commercial who hates his agent... Can you imagine the crap he catches from his friends? "Guys, I was totally acting, I swear!"

f*bomb. said...

It's so embarassing I don't even know what to think...
Of course, it was much the same when Rodney opened up his white elephant gift and got a giant box of Valtrex.

Ask him what he's doing with it now...Rodney? Rodney?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
f*bomb. said...

Anonymous comments are fine. And by "fine," I mean, "LAME." But you're still welcome to comment.
But leave a lame-o link anonymously and I will put the kibash on you. So don't do it.
Thank you!

Renegade Of Funk said...

Anonymous comments on a "be shameless" blog? Someone's smoking crack here.

All these commercials and I still couldn't tell you what valtrex or lunesta treat.

Seymour Glass said...

i wonder if eHarmony matches people based on the compatibility of their STD's? i mean, if you both have genital warts and suffer from painful outbreaks, that's gotta bring you together as a couple.

Ali B. said...

Someone once gave me a whole bunch of freebees (pens, paper, etc.) advertising Valtrax, I used at work for a long time, I'd write people notes on them... it elicited many many quizzical looks, but I never got asked out there??? Huh, I appear to have been missing the eHarmony portion of the happiness equation... if I had more free time, I'd try it.

f*bomb. said...

Funk- It doesn't really matter what they treat for. All I know is they provide for an excellent lifestyle, far more glamourous than my own. But those purple pills falling from the sky? That one I just don't get.

Glass- I'll let you know about eHarmony. Mostly I'm too lazy to fill out the free part and too cheap to pay for whatever the service costs. Besides. Who needs eDating when I have eYou?

Exactly, Ali. Kind of like how I feel about dating anyway. If I HAD more spare time wasting away, MAYBE I'd bother going out with you again, Mr Moderately Pleasant Guy...but, honestly? Who has time to waste trying to create chemistry with someone JUST because you both happen to be single? No, thank you.
I'd rather be with people I actually like.

Aaron said...

it is counter-intuitive. isn't the PROPER sequence something like sign up for eHarmony, don't take lunestra around the person you get matched up with until you are certain they won't be giving you that special something that requires valtrex, and then welcome to relationship bliss?

funny, all 3 ARE about getting something i don't currently have.
1st, find true love. WANT
2nd, get more sleep. Also WANT
3rd, the genital Herp. DO NOT WANT
man, i sure am glad that marketing i here to help me re-think this.

f*bomb. said...

Good points, Aaron. And I appreciate your tidiness- I am a big fan of lists, myself. That is probably one of the 29 things eHarmony will match us on.
Gold star!

It's mostly the end result I'm interested in obtaining- more sleep and dreamings of butterflies, true compatability, and a relationship where we go out and do all those fun things.

I mean, of all of us here, how many of us have been in a relationship where we were committed for over 6 months ("outbreak free for 6 months!"), and with that same person been: kayaking, mountainbiking, roadtripping, vacationing, cliff-diving, waterfall-splashing, etc? I get that maybe once or twice a year through Ward Activities, but never has an actual relationship taken me to such great heights. And now I'm a little bit jealous of that woman who gets to date that man with the genital herpes. I am. He is quite a guy.