Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The New Math:

Here's an equation for you:
Kiss 10 People or Have Sex with 1.

Which sounds better to you?

Because, apparently, this is the dividing factor keeping many of us...ahem...Apart.

You've got to wonder what the rationale is behind making out with 10 different girls above pursuing a meaningful relationship which could lead to lots of making out with a bonus. I'm not one to run toward commitment, but this equation makes sense to me. It does not seem to make sense to:

*The manboys still screwing around with girls far too young to know better.
*The desperate girls with no self-respect.
*The lonely girls who have lost faith in men and who have forgotten how amazing they are.
*The young girls who don't know better yet.
*The manboys still blaming their commitment issues on the girl they were going to marry a decade ago.
*The jerkoffs/walruses/slimeballs who simply have no true love of womenkind.
*The truly selfish.

It seems to be logical for us to take the time and choose to be with someone we are truly compatible with. Someone who cares about us as much as we care for them. Someone who is ready and willing to fight your battles alongside you, and celebrate you as if it were their victory. I love hearing from my married friends about how great it is to plan your future alongside someone they love and who values them in kind.

So. 10 to 1. It seems a simple equation to me. Then again, I'm the one who hasn't touched math since high school.


Kory said...

Yes, the new math works- Sex with one IS WAY better than making out with 10.

Mike said...

Unfortunately, one or more of the guys you've listed using the new commitment phobic math and making out with lots of young girls who don't know any better often turn those girls into the desperate girls with no self respect or the lonely girls who forget how amazing they are.

Does not doing much of the making out keep me from being a manboy/jerkoff/walrus/slimeball? I certainly hope so, but understand that the commitment phobia and lack of current desire to get married or end up with that "one" may overwhelm any reticence in making out with the multitudes.

f*bomb. said...

NICE POINT for Mike!
No- as an openly commitment adverse woman, I don't think NOT using others for our own selfish gratification is a bad thing. In fact, in your case it may be one of two things:

1) You're being honest in not wanting to pursue anyone else and therefore are NOT leading anybody on. OR-
2) You're holding out on women who SHOULD be enjoying the pleasure of your company.
Usually I count these as factors that make someone a good guy. But a fraidycat.

Props to Kory for sharing TMI and The New Math: quite possibly the only equation that has ever made sense to me.

Vanilla Vice said...

*The lonely girls who have lost faith in men and who have forgotten how amazing they are.

It's been six long months. Almost 7. Oh well. I suppose I'm better off.

You may not have touched math in a long time, but you're freakin Einstein to me!

veeda said...

Your calculations definitely add up correctly. Monogamy is bliss.

f*bomb. said...

It was rather unsettling when I went home to the Cape and realized that the rest of my family is entirely monogamous, but that I am the one who belongs to a church culture that thinks I should get married.

We won't even try getting into the counter-intuitiveness of it all on a comment section. There's a monogamy post that's been waiting in the wings since April. I just can't seem to make the commitment to post it yet.

Marigold said...


what about the douche bags that are having sex with ten girls so they don't want to get married and have sex with just one? or the ones who still have sex with ten girls after they get married? sick.

f*bomb. said...

Well- it does take two to tango...Maybe people should start thinking about who they are with before they invite them to bed. Women can cheat just as much as men.

Doesn't anyone ever stop to think:
If they're this eager to hook up with me, who else have they been easy for?
We should all ask that question- because human bodies are living petri dishes for whoever was there before us. Ask a dentist. And if you're gonna open it up to sex, well- there's a whole lot more biology we need to be aware of.